Oh man
From Metabods
Contents |
Part 1
Oh man, home at last. I gotta whack so bad. Horny all day. Can’t believe I was boned during the staff meeting. What a day not to wear underwear! I sure looked like an idiot hurrying out of the conference room with my binder in front of my crotch.
And I know that Latino college jock was staring at my junk on the subway. I think he lives around here. Got off at my stop anyway. I wonder if — ? Naah, get real. He was fucking hot though. Lanky and built.
I shouldn’t leave those jeans on the floor. Fuck it. In fact — here, stupid work shirt, you get to be on the floor too! Make a baby with the jeans, see if I care.
Man my cock looks so delicious. I wish I could suck it. It’s at least twice as wide as the last cock I sucked — god my cock would feel amazing in my mouth. At least my left hand and some good ol’ Vaseline still feels pretty good.
Of course, it’s been three months. Fucking forever. That’s like since the dawn of time. Cocks have probably evolved and gotten bigger since then (sigh).
C’mon, boot up. There ya go.
Email, email. Don’t care. Don’t care. I love you too, Mom. Fuck you, Jordon, you’ve screwed me out of enough money. Oooh, smut.
Mmmf, yeah, nice. I wish my body looked like that.
What the? How is my email generating a fucking pop-up? Like I’m going to click on your-body-like-that.com. Gotta be a virus site. Huh? The window won’t close? Fucking –
It’s telling me to just click on it? And it knows my name. Great, identity theft.
“No, it’s not identity theft”? Well that was easy to predict. Okay, suck on this, mind-reading email: All that is gold does not glitter...
What the fuck!
Fine, if it’s Aragorn telling me to click ...
Okay, yeah, I know you’re not Aragorn, you just know the poem. Okay, psychic email, I’m clicking, but you better not wipe my drive!
Huh, how anticlimactic. A big box, with “Drag a picture of how you want to look into the box.” And a terms and conditions link. Geez, even fantasy porn sites have legal shit.
Maybe if the web site’s kinda psychic it knows what I look like, and it’ll show a pic of me with some hottie’s body or something.
Oooo, my boner likes that. Mmmmf. Mf.
Okay, worth a shot. Let’s see — oh yeah, fuck yeah, there was that pic of that superhot 17-year-old basketball dude Kenny forwarded me? So hot. Where is it — where is it — no, must be the other folder — fuck yeah! Tall, supercute with a buzzcut and a big grin, lanky, but huge pecs for a bb dude, and a fucking incredible 8-pack. Boiling hot. Wonder what’s in those long basketball shorts?
Okay, so I’m dragging the pic from Finder onto the web page — whoops — okay, it dropped right into the box. Where’d it go? Now the box is empty. Hey, stupid website, aren’t you going to show me the .......
........ huh
Must’ve dozed off — uh — wh —
What the fuck —
What the fuck happened to my dick? It shrank?
And my body — I’m all ...
Bumpy...
Holy shit. Holy shit!!
HOLY SHIT!!!
Jeez, standing up I’m huge! How fucking tall am I? And these pecs feel so amazing in my hand. And these abs. And — well, it’s a fucking shame about the cock, but it still feels awesome stroking it! Oh, god, pecs, I love these pecs, oh god
oh god oh god FUUUCKKK!!!!
Hu hu aw fuck yeah.
Whew
That was intense. Mmm, even my jock muscle ass feels good as I sit down. This cock, though, is not working for me. Let’s see what — oh, now there’s an Undo button.
Undo!
Yeah, that’s a much nicer cock. Welcome back, old friend.
Heh, my abs aren’t bumpy anymore, but they’re still covered with semen. What a wacky system!
God, I’m still horny. And aching hard. Maybe these balls didn’t come.
Okay, clearly we need full disclosure this time. I need a hunk with a really big dick. Oh yeah, I know — there’s that porn star/bodybuilder with the killer smile? And the really long blonde hair, soo hot with the green eyes. And he’s like 11 inches easy, and thicker than me. Lance Beckham, that’s right. He can never hide that monster, it’s huge even when it’s soft because it’s so fucking thick. Let’s see — I can probably just Google him — hmm — hmm — aw yeah, that’s the one. Damn, he looks hot naked and soft, look at that thing. Better pick one where he’s hard, though — oh yeah, just like that.
Oh, I can’t wait — drag — drop — yeah, there it goes. Okay c’mon ............
uh
Wow, feels to weird to just konk out like th — aw fuck yeah!!!! God, this cock is so enormous! Fuck, I thought it looked big on screen, but this thing is like a beast! And these balls are like tennis balls — they’re huge!
Hey, I wonder if to changed my face too? Let’s see if — oo, I can turn the webcam on, I’ll see myself in the feedback screen and I won’t have to get up! Here goes — turn that on — start that — oh god, I’m Lance Beckham! And I want to fuck myself. Look at that face, those eyes, those lips! God those lips! Man this hair feels great on my bulging shoulders. And those are some hunky bumpy wide shoulders... And — but all that pales compared to The Beast.
I’m gonna need two hands to get this off!
And — fuck — and maybe —
Oooooooohhh fuuuuuck
I’m never letting this cock out of my mouth never ever ever
I can just get the head and ... a couple inches of shaft but ... uh uh uh oh god my tongue feels so warm and wide on my cock I’m licking my cock oh god oh god
Stroking it with two hands and sucking myself — not even straining to bend over — this bod is limber and my cock is sooo huge!
Oh shit I’m cumming already — oh yeah — oh fuuuuuuuuuck .... !!
God, I’m still cumming — hope I can swallow it all — god I’m cumming in my own mouth — oh fuuuuuuck
Hu hu hu ahhhhhhhhh
Mmmmmm
Aw, that was awesome.
I gotta just sit here a minute.
I suppose I should go back to my regular bod, or people won’t recognize me at work tomorrow. But, damn, I am not ready to give this up. This torso feels even hotter than the bb guy’s! It’s like I’m rock hard all over. It’s like I’m made of boner. Man, caressing my huge thick bicep peaks — it’s almost like stroking The Beast, it feels so hot. Made of boner. And still boned.
Maybe I’ll just take a shower, maybe whack off a few more times, and go to bed, and go back to normal in the morning.
I love that I’m still hard. I wonder if your-body-like-that.com has a testimonials page?
Part 2
Damn alarm. Oh — oops, I’m stronger now. Hope it’s not completely broken.
Man, this body even wakes up hard. I think I came on myself in my sleep — these balls are relentless. Okay, maybe just a quick suck/stroke — no! I gotta get in early today, if I don’t get the copy done for the Nike ad they’ll give it to Henry, they like him better anyway.
Shower first? No, I need to shower my old bod, stupid! Man, this blows.
Just walking over to my desk, The Beast jutting up in front of me, lat muscles rubbing against my arms, thick soccer boy legs flexing as I walk ... man, I am getting back in this body the second I get home. Let’s see, where’s that web page, I need to press Undo —
What the — “Session timeout?”
Uh oh
Okay, just reload, just reload — okay, there’s the box, the instruction line — fuck, no Undo!
Oh god oh god oh god
I can’t go to work like this — I can’t — I want to, but they won’t know me! They won’t let me in the building! I’ll lose my job, I’ll be homeless — hot but homeless — I’ll have to become a rent boy — - oh god oh god
Okay, okay, okay, wait, just calm down. I need to become me again. Instead of Lance-me. I need to look like me-me. Maybe — maybe I can ... reinstall my body, instead of undoing the — yeah, that’s it! I just need a picture of me!
Do I have a picture of me? Who has pictures of themselves lying around? ... I’ll bet Lance does. Heh.
Wait — Last week Mom sent that family portrait from when we went to Olon Mills at Easter! I just need to crop everyone else out and drop it in the box on the website.
I’m thinking about Easter and I’m still hard. And stroking. When did I start stroking? This body is hella horny.
Okay, here’s the email. Open the picture in Photoshop and —
What the fuck.
What the fuck is Lance-me doing in the family portrait? Damn, he looks amazing in a suit. I mean, I look amazing. I mean — damn. My hair, my face — look at the bulge in my upper arms, completely filling the sleeve. And my pecs — it’s like I’m smuggling half-deflated soccer balls. And that lump in my pants — wait, is my brother staring at it? He sleeps with every girl in the sophomore class, why is he staring at my crotch in the middle of a family portrait?
Although I kinda remember — he was glued to me the whole time I was back home — I had to sleep in his room and he talked me into sharing the bed — he kinda groped me the whole night, even while he was asleep.
What does this — does this mean the site made me look like this — before?
All the way before?
Yearbook.
My dick is so stiff, it doesn’t move even when I’m jogging across to — where is that yearbook, I know it’s on the shelf here somewh — ah, here we go. C’mon, where is it — Shubert, Simmons ... here it is, Slater.
Fuck.
Huh, Lance-me is in a lot of the candids all the way through the yearbook, too. The yearbook photographer must have liked me. ... Jerry. Yeah, he liked me. He was pretty cute. I must have fucked him — what, three times?
It’s permanent. The session timeout. It must have made it permanent. And — what’s the word? Retroactive.
Huh.
So am I officially Lance-me? Where’s my wallet? Driver’s license, god, I even take a hot driver’s license photo. Building ID, check. So they definitely know me like this at work. Gym membership — I go to the gym? Evidently.
Work. Fuck, I’m late.
No time to get rid of this boner — assuming I ever could. Gotta just strap it down. Okay, boxer briefs — and The Beast sticks up three inches over the waistband. Unbelievably hot. Hey, no, stop it! No precum. Geez, if this think leaks, it’s not gonna make a wet spot in my pants, it’ll make wet spot in my shirt! Okay, I need — protection. Fortunately I needed extra-large condoms before, because of my width, I wonder if they’ll still fit. I’m wider now, and way longer, but — okay, here we go. Open the package, roll it down ... is it going to — ? Whew, yeah, it fits. Actually The Beast seems to like it. Hot. Okay, Beast, now you can precum all you like.
Pants from the floor — fit perfectly. Tighten my belt right over The Beast, like putting a kid in a car seat. Wait, it’s casual day today — I can wear a golf shirt. This hunter green one! I didn’t have one like this before, but it’ll look so amazing with my eyes, and my long hair. And, yeah, my big hard muscles.
What, feels nice pulling on this shirt. This body likes wearing clothes! But then, this body likes everything. Everything is a stimulation. Check in the mirror — good, the shirt is tight across the pecs, but loose below, so there’s no tell-tale sign of The Beast. I must always buy clothes that way.
Wallet, keys, phone, out the door. Man, I am full of energy. It feels like everyone must be able to tell I’m boned with a monster erection, but I know they can’t.
And down into the subway — swipe and I’m in — damn, full platform. Must mean there’ll be a train soon.
Everyone’s bored. And when they’re bored, they stare at me. God, it’s been like that since grade school! Everyone stares at me, even when they try not to.
Most of the business guys in suits are trying not to. But that group of guys over there — they’re not making any bones about it. Awesome. Aw, they smiled back.
Okay, here comers the train. Hm, it looks kinda full. A bunch of people are getting off. Okay, get in, move to the center ... Heh, that’s funny, all the guys getting on are moving toward where I’m standing. Whoa, okay, there are like five guys pressed against me. Well, at least I don’t need to hang onto anything.
Damn, this suit guy is right in my face. I mean, right in my face. And he’s really cute. He’s pressed right up against me, too. He must feel my big heavy pecs — I can feel his, actually. Damn, he’s pressing his crotch against mine — he’s boned too. Not as big as I am though. He’s got earphones in — I can just barely hear his music. Our encounter has a Nirvana sound track.
His face is like an inch from mine. His eyes — they’re ice blue, very pretty. I can tell he likes mine, too.
I can’t see his hands — we’re in the middle of a press of a dozen guys — but — oh, there are his hands, on the sides of my hard, round, volleyball asscheeks. He’s not grinding, he’s just pressing, firmly. I can feel at least two boners pressed against my ass from behind. Someone’s stroking my right arm.
I gently move my hands to the suit hunk’s firm ass.
The train — fuck, it just shuddered to a halt in between stations. Now the lights are out. Is it because I’m wearing a porn star’s body that porn star scenarios start happening? I can’t wait to see what my pizza guy looks like now.
Suit guy’s warm breath is on my lips. I’m being gently groped in earnest now by I don’t know how many guys — arms, legs, ass, abs, all over. God, I can feel like four boners pressed against me, including suit guy’s.
Oh god, his lips are touching mine. Sooo hot! Not a kiss — not yet — but even more hot than a kiss.
Okay, I was wrong, this is a kiss, and it’s amazingly hot.
Someone else is kissing my neck.
Oh, his tongue — here, buddy, hope you like mine. Mmmmmmmmmmm oh god oh god I’m gonna cum!!
Suit guy seems to sense this and holds me hard against him even as he kisses me sensuously. Oh god oh fuck yeah oh god oh god oh god MMMMMMMMMf can’t scream can’t scream aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!! Ah! Ah! Ahhhhh ah ah ahhh
When did the train start again? We’re almost at my stop, but suit guy is still kissing me right out in the open now. This guy has some balls. And I know I do.
Damn, I gotta break the kiss. One more quick one. I love the extra quick one after a make-out. The doors are opening, gotta go. Fuck, he looks so cute with that half-sad, half ecstatic look on his face.
Gotta turn around and get to the office.
Man, it’s like stepping out of a dream being on the street and out of the subway. Of course, I know it wasn’t a dream — I can feel my condom full of slime under my shirt. Best subway ride ever!
I’m gonna need more condoms.
