The phone rang dustily in the shadowed alcove of the car. I pushed a button on the dashboard. “Hello?”
The voice on the other line was frantic. “Sir, we got another case! On Park and Regent!”
I swore softly. “Again?”
“Alright, I’ll be right there.”
As I disconnected the line, I wondered, not for the first time, why would anyone make this happen. It is not natural, the way these things are constantly popping up.
I was soon there. The scene was incredible. Cars, crumpled flat, were tossed everywhere in the plaza. The streetlights were tied into knots. In the middle of it all, one of Them.
It must have been six feet tall and with a build to put any ultra-weight bodybuilder to shame. Instead of a head, an over-sized monitor display flashed images of flexing bodybuilders mixed with the occasional expletive. It walked over to a car and fell flat on it, crushing it in a single movement, then getting up and picking it up as if it was nothing. The screen went into a display of colorful symbols as the car was tossed away.
I got out of the car and walked on over to the group of people a few yards away. “Mister Hutton,” I said, flashing my badge. “Department of Cybernetic Deviations. What happened?”
One of the people shrugged. “No idea, sir. One of the tablets just went berserk.”
“That was my tablet!” another said. She looked haggard. “I was looking at my email, and the screen started to flash. Next thing, it started to grow and turn into…that!” She pointed at the creature, now in front of a glass window and posing in front of it as if it was a mirror. “It’s disgusting!”
I nodded. “Don’t worry, ma’am, we will get you a replacement.”
“I don’t want a replacement, I want mine!”
“Sorry, ma’am,” I said, “but when this happens, there’s no cure.” I shrugged at her expression. “We’ll get back at you shortly to get your information.” I waved to one of the people coming out of a white van that just parked next to the crowd. “Julio, we got a number seven here.”
“Another one?” he said. He raked his fingers through his curly mop. “Damn, they’re coming out more often, huh?”
I nodded and motioned to the woman. “Talk to her, please. She’s the originator. I’ll be right back.” Julio nodded, and I started to walk over to the creature.
It is never easy to get to talk to one of these. Most do not pay attention to me or anyone else. Instead, they get lost in what they are.
“Mister Hutton,” I say to the thing, flashing my badge. “ID Twelve-Alpha-Zed. Confirm.”
The thing didn’t turn around, still flexing and palming its bulk.
“ID Twelve-Alpha-Zed,” I repeated. “Confirm!”
It turned around, the screen flashing red and green stripes for a moment before going black. 〈ID confirmed〉 it printed on the monitor.
I breathed a small sigh. Small progress. “Name ID and function.”
The screen flashed briefly to an image of a bodybuilder on stage before blanking out. 〈Fuck…so huge…〉 It raised an arm and flexed hugely, the bicep shifting to a bowling ball of brawn.
“Name ID and function!”
〈You like my muscles dontcha?〉 The other arm flexed. 〈Want to worship this, dude?〉
“For the last time, ID and function!”
The thing made a motion as if it was sighing and lowered the arms. 〈ID Six-Seven-Delta-Zero-Five〉 And right underneath, 〈Function: Fuck toy〉
I nodded. “Who made you?”
I nodded again. “How do you feel?”
〈Horny. Want to fuck. You like this body, right?〉 It flexed hugely. 〈So massive. Need to get bigger〉 It went into another pose. 〈Always bigger〉
Honestly, this is the best conversation I had with these things in weeks. They don’t pay attention, and we’d have to provide other ways of communication.
“Can you tell me how you came to be?”
The thing was clearly struggling, trying to snap out of it. 〈Was not…now is…〉 The screen flashed a cascade of semi-naked muscular men. 〈Fuck! Need! Must!〉 It ran down to one of the remaining cars and tackled it into a flat pile of junk.
I walked back to Julio. “Same reason as the others. No idea how it was created. The only motive is for sexual enjoyment.”
He shook his head. “Why would anyone want to do that?”
“That’s not the first time I wondered the same thing,” I said. I looked at the thing. “Come on, let’s get it contained.”
It is always a hassle to get one of Them into captivity, and this one was no different. All the while it was being bound it kept on snapping its restraints with relative ease, flexing its muscles and the screen flashing expletives. Finally, we got it into the van and drove off, with me in the back as guard.
〈Fuck〉 the thing printed on the screen. 〈Why don’t we get to know each other better, eh bro?〉 It flexed an arm, then cupped a thick pec.
I shook my head. “We’re going to take you to a place where you’ll get better.”
The thing shook its display. 〈Fuck no, dude. Have you seen how big I am?〉 It waved its hands to its body. 〈Tell me you don’t want this, dude〉
I raised an eyebrow at this. “Why are you suddenly so chatty? Don’t you want to try to escape?”
〈ID Six-Seven-Delta-Zero-Five is awaiting other instructions〉
Both of my eyebrows rose at this. “What?”
The screen flickered to a movie clip of two massive bodybuilders in a tight sixty-nine as they drove black dildos into each other’s asses. Then it blacked out. 〈Fuuuuuck…〉
“That turns you on?” I asked, somewhat disgusted.
〈ID Six-Seven-Delta-Zero-Five was made to be a fucktoy. ID Six-Seven-Delta-Zero-Five is designed for sexual pleasure.〉 It raised its arms and flexed. 〈Just tell me what to do, bro. This body is all yours〉
“Tell me who created you.”
The display flickered to show various raunchy photos. 〈Insufficient information〉
I sighed inwardly, but a part of me was wondering about this. It is rare to get a conversation like this in almost all of the other bots. “Can you at least tell me what caused this?”
The screen flickered in diamond patterns of various colors before blacking out, the figure slumping against the seat.
“Hello?” I snapped my fingers at the figure, but the figure remained motionless. “Damn,” I swore. I should have expected this. I reached over to the monitor’s side and pressed gingerly. The screen flickered for a moment. “Hello!”
The figure shuddered as the screen kept on flickering, then a hand brushed mine aside. The screen flashed diamond patterns for a moment.
〈The fuck was that?〉
I sighed. “Whatever made you like this put in a shut-down code into your programming.”
The figure looked directly at me, another oddity to this creature. 〈ID Six-Seven-Delta-Zero-Five acknowledges the code and must comply to the programmer’s wishes〉
My eyebrows quirked up for a moment. “What?”
The screen flashed back to the movie clip. 〈Awfuck, bro, I need that. I got to have that〉
I sighed as I watched the creature go back to its original programming.
The Department of Cybernetic Deviations was a discreet building of glass and concrete, squatting in the shadows of the main police building next to it. I peeked out the rear windows as the van passed by it, then turning into the garage area. A few moments later, the back doors opened.
“Alright, you,” Julio said, motioning with his hand. “Let’s get you out of there.”
As hard it was to get one of Them into the van, it was just as easy to get Them out. The figure jumped out and stretched its muscles as the screen flashed stripes and diamond patterns.
〈Aw fuck that felt good〉 the screen scrolled as the figure straightened up. It flexed an arm. 〈Who wants to worship this muscle?〉
“Not right now,” I said, jumping out of the van. “We need to get you looked at.”
〈Fuck yeah!〉 It flexed the other one. 〈You can look at me all you want, bro! Look and grope and worship…〉 The screen flickered to bodybuilders weightlifting, their muscles pumped to the max. 〈Fuck…〉
As Julio and two other guards lead the figure through a set of double doors, I went through another set, slowly walking around the glass-encased rooms that showed various other things in them. Other figures, each one hugely muscular and constantly in the state of flexing.
There was Item #103, once a computer chair and now a composite of muscle and vinyl, the bulk trying to tear apart the faux-leather bindings. As I passed it, it turned to face me—never could figure out how they could without eyes—and did a breathtaking double-bi pose, each muscle perfect.
I lingered over at Item #401’s cell, which was once an electric mattress. Now it towered at seven feet, massively built. (The muscles, when examined, were comprised of the bed’s foam cushioning.) As I looked at the figure, it kept on flexing a pec and groping it with one hand while the other hand was playing with its control pad. No doubt lost, as always, with how hard or soft he can make the muscle.
Item #19 was one of the first, a boombox attached to a powerlifter body, and one of the few that had genitals, the massive set clothed in a straining jockstrap. As I passed by it, it was slowly riding a black dildo; I could hear the moans of pleasure the figure gave out. Someone gave the thing another toy to play with, I thought wryly, and I made a mental note to send one of the techs to get it out of the room.
I passed through numerous other figures, each one in a state of sexual frenzy as they self-worshipped their bodies. We couldn’t get rid of them or execute them; the current laws framed them as ‘human’ and to do either was murder in the eyes of the country. Still, they didn’t do much but show off, not needing any human comforts.
I was about to walk out of the room when I saw the newest captive slowly being escorted by Julio. The screen was still flashing lewd photos and video clips as it flexed and groped itself. I looked again at the figure and noticed it was clothed in a poser, the fabric stretching obscenely over a heavy bulge I was certain was not there before.
“What’s going on?” I asked, coming up to the crew.
〈Bro!〉 the display flashed. 〈I need to be fucked right now, dude!〉
Julio gently shoved the figure into an empty cell and locked it. “We got the report in,” he said, eyeing the figure. “It isn’t pretty.”