I laughed at a joke my friend/roommate Ethan had cracked as I followed Rylie, his girlfriend, out of the elevator that had taken us to the floor of his and my dorm room. Lydia, Rylie’s friend, stumbled into Rylie’s side as she tripped on the divot between the elevator and the floor carpet, causing her to giggle profusely as Rylie caught her and sighed, slightly exasperated, but nonetheless amused at her intoxicated friend. Rylie was less intoxicated than Lydia but still slightly drunk. She gazed back toward Ethan and whispered, “This was a bad idea, Ethan, she’s going to get us caught.”
Ethan, who had downed only one beer after realizing he was playing the role of babysitter for his girlfriend and her friend tonight, replied in a normal volume. “We’re about to get to the room, it’ll be okay, Ry,” he soothed, using his pet name for her, “and remember we saw Darren”—that was our floor’s RA—”at the club, he’s not even here.”
She still looked worried about her and Lydia being busted for being in a guys’ dorm, both of them being drunk only making it worse, and was about to retort with a counter-argument when Lydia, having been suspiciously quiet the last twenty seconds, uttered the four magic words, “I’m going to puke.” That ended any further discussion and had us ushering her as fast as possible to the room.
Once in and safe from any RA eyes, Rylie beelined for the bathroom, pulling Lydia like she was a bomb along with her. Watching them go, I turned and walked into the small “living room” which was just barely one, and noticed our third roommate, Noah, passed out on the couch, undisturbed by the noise we’d caused by our less than smooth entrance, his 6’2 frame draped half off the small couch. “How the hell does he sleep through anything?” I inquired mostly to myself.
Ethan heard me, though, and he laughed quietly and replied, “I know, right? If someone farts from the next room over I wake up. I wish I was that deep a sleeper.” I didn’t really know how to respond to this, as I was the one the next room over, so I just walked to the kitchen on the right and looked for something to eat. I was fondly watching my leftovers from cookout last night spin in the microwave when Rylie appeared, looking disheveled as if she’d just wrestled a screaming toddler into pajamas. She was shortly followed by the toddler, Lydia, who looked freshly emptied of booze and ready to party some more now that she had a clean slate. “You feel all right?” Ethan asked as Rylie walked over to him.
“Yeah,” she sighed, “I just wanna sleep in my own bed.” While saying this Ethan wrapped his hands around her face tenderly and she leaned in gratefully at the support.
“Okay,” he said and kissed her softly on her forehead. “I’ll take you and Lydia back. Probably best anyway it would be risky sneaking you both out tomorrow morning.” The fact that I was single and also laughed at outward expressions of love as a coping mechanism mixed to make a bitter grimace leak onto my face, and I looked away, telling myself that they were sweet and to not be a shrew. The sound of a groan and a body turning restlessly coming from the living room made us all turn toward Noah, who was still fast asleep. He had rolled onto his left side so now he was facing us instead of the back of the couch. He raised his left arm up a little, spoke gibberish, and then let his arm drop back down. I starred, thoroughly entertained at the prospect we might get a show, while Ethan sniggered, Rylie chuckled, and Lydia said a little too loud, “Oh my god, is he sleep talking?!”, after which she laughed loudly. It was lucky Noah was such a deep sleeper, because any normal human in REM would’ve jolted awake at the sound, but he didn’t even move, which caused all our tipsy asses to laugh harder. The mood shifted completely though as Noah spoke again, this time in understandable English, saying “Yeah baby you like that?” and thrusting his hips in what could only be what we all knew it was.
“Holy shit,” Ethan said like Christmas had come early, “he’s dreaming about doing it.” They all shuffled toward him while I followed reluctantly. Ethan was nice, but he had a mean streak in his sense of humor, common to people in their early 20’s who were raised on social media and the “roast culture” that came with it.
I’ll be candid, part of me wanted to laugh at this also, but also part of me imagined what if it was me being gawked at in this situation, and second-hand embarrassment coursed through me causing me to blush. “Hey, guys, come on. We can’t watch this,” I said quietly as I joined the small half circle around the couch.
“Sure we can,” said Lydia giggling. “Oh, what,” she said, meeting my disapproving gaze, “it’s not like he’ll ever find out.” Although she was right, she slurred her words on “ever,” so I didn’t take her as seriously.
“If it gets too graphic we’ll go,” said Rylie, wishing to appease me, “but maybe it’ll just be random funny stuff now.”
“Mmm,” Noah moaned just then, already slashing Rylie’s hope of a G-rated performance from here on out. “Yeah baby, right there. Right there,” he moaned while exhaling.
“Yeah, okay, or maybe not,” Rylie allotted in response.
Ethan chuckled at her tone of voice, and followed up with, “You think it’s Jessica?” That was Noah’s recent ex, who’s just broken up with him two weeks ago.
“Well, that just makes it sad,” Rylie said, looking up at Ethan behind her with a forlorn expression. I agreed silently, but suddenly I couldn’t tear my gaze away from what was unfurling. I had always thought Noah was good looking. I mean he was 6’2”, played basketball for the university (I mean he wasn’t 7’2” or anything, so he wouldn’t be in the NBA, but he was good), had short brown hair that had long curls that was always in a stylish, but messy tousle, with a wide chiseled face with full lips. They all knew I was bi, and were cool with it (come on, it’s 2019), but Ethan and Noah were both straight, so even though I was kinda into Noah I never voiced it, as there was no point. I knew it was wrong to keep looking, but fuck, it was hot as hell. He was in grey boxers that were slightly too small on his wide muscular thighs, and in a plain white tee that was pulled up slightly exposing his flat stomach. It hugged his chest and large biceps in a flattering way. Noah moaned again, but this time it was more dominant and teetered more on the growl side, bucked his hips again, said, “Yeah, Jessica, you like that baby? You like my big dick filling you up?”, finishing with one more big, forceful thrust of his hips.
“Oooookay,” said Ethan, “this just stopped being funny and became weird.”
“Yeah, take us home,” Rylie said going to grab Lydia to tote her to the door, but her hand grasped air as she saw Lydia step toward Noah with an evil smirk on her face. “Lydia!” Rylie said quietly but urgently, “Stop!”
“No, watch,” Lydia said laughing quietly, “this’ll be funny.” She slowly crouched down so her mouth was next to sleeping Noah’s ear. We all starred wide-eyed at the train wreck about to occur, too afraid that trying to move her away would wake him up. “I don’t know, Noah,” she spoke in a voice slightly higher than hers, similar to Jessica’s, “I kinda wish it was bigger.”
I felt my stomach drop to my butt as I waited for him to wake up, but surprisingly his eyes didn’t open. He simply frowned and replied, “What the hell?”
Lydia rolled her eyes—I admired how committed she was to role—and replied, “Two inches isn’t big, Noah.”
“Okay, come on now,” I said angrily, stepping forward.
Ethan sucked in a breath with his teeth clenched. “Brutal” he said quietly.
She looked back at us and scowled while Noah’s face began to blush, clearly embarrassed. “Oh come on, that’s funny”.
“No it isn’t,” I said. “Stop fucking with him.”
“Let’s go back to my place, Lydia,” Rylie ordered, holding out her hand for Lydia.
Lydia let out a long sigh, grabbed Rylie’s hand to stand up, and grumbled, “You guys are no fun.”
As Rylie began to turn to head toward the door, I glanced at Noah’s beet red, sleeping face, and stopped her. “Wait,” I said, turning to Lydia. “Fix what you did.”
She gave me an incredulous glance with her mouth open. “What?” she asked in disbelief.
I looked too Ethan for some support, and Lydia followed my glance, turning to him to with the same look on her face. Ethan was looking at Noah’s still blushing face when he turned to Lydia and sided with me. “You can’t leave the guy like that. He’s dreaming about his ex.”
“You can’t be serious?” she said with the same disbelief, whipping back to look at me, stumbling a little as she did.
“Just go give him a normal-sized dick,” I said, jerking my head toward Noah.
“Oh. My god,” she said, turning sharply and walking back toward him.
“She doesn’t have to do that if she doesn’t want to,” Rylie said, stepping where Lydia had been, in-between Ethan and me. “It’s just a dream.”
“She gave him a two inch dick!” I said.
“So?” she replied, raising her arms slightly.
“Look, he’s been really upset about the break up.”
“Him having a slightly bigger dick in this dream won’t change that,” she countered.
I once again looked too Ethan to back me up. I didn’t expect much, though—he didn’t like to go against Rylie, which is why I was surprised when he conceded again. “He’s been really fragile, Ry, a dream like this could make him depressed the rest of the day.”
Rylie’s kind disposition kicked in, softening her face a bit, as she sighed and caved. “Okay, but this is weird.” We all turned to Lydia who been waiting for us to shut up all the while glaring at me and Ethan.
“Your dick is huge,” she said flatly in a sarcastic tone leaning close to Noah’s ear, still glaring at us. “It’s nine inches, and I love it,” she finished. She began to get up, glancing with a slightly grossed out expression at Noah who had a cocky grin spreading across his face as her words began to take effect on his dreamscape. She turned her head straight as she began stand up, but stopped suddenly.
“What. The Holy Hell,” she exclaimed quietly glancing very inconspicuously at Noah’s crotch, making us all walk closer around her.
“What is it?” Rylie asked, but stopped there as we all looked in the direction she was gazing wide eyed and saw what “it” was.
In the area of Noah’s crotch, the outline of an impressive woody stretched up his stomach.
“Well, goddamn,” Ethan said, raising his eyebrows.
“Good guess,” I laughed impressed.
“It wasn’t that big before!” Lydia said in a “you guys are dipshits” tone, whipping around to look at us. “We were all just around him. Was that,” she said, pointing to the very prominent nine-inch boner outline, “there before?”
“So, what, you think it just happened?” Ethan said, scoffing.
“Yes,” she replied point-blank, making Ethan stop laughing and look at her like she was crazy.
She sighed. “The brain is extremely susceptible to suggestion while in certain stages of the REM cycle. The subconscious mind can be manipulated into taking anything as real. There are a few studies that were just released where people were conditioned to respond a certain way to certain smells or sounds while asleep. It’s crazy,” she finished, while hiccuping softly. We all stood in silence for about five seconds, remembering that Lydia was a neuropsychology major. And that she had been very drunk not too long ago.
“O… kay,” I said. “So you’re telling us that Noah subconsciously grew his dick, ‘cause you made it seem real?” I continued, my voice raising slightly at the end because of how ridiculous it sounded.
“It’s possible,” she said.
“Well, there’s an easy way to test if it’s true,” Ethan said as he gestured back toward Noah.
We all waited barely daring to breathe as Lydia got close to Noah’s ear again. “Actually,” she began in a tone almost exactly like Jessica’s, now that she was really trying, “didn’t you say your dick was a foot long?”
Ethan laughed quietly. Rylie put one hand on her hip and jutted them out to the side as she did when suspicious about something or about to have a fight with Ethan and scoffed, “Oh, come on, Lydia,” but I kept my eyes glued to the outline of Noah’s dick, and sucked in air in shock as I saw the impossible happen.
“Guys,” I said quietly, and crouched down next to Lydia, “look.” The other two quickly huddled down beside us.
“Holy fucking shit,” Ethan said as Rylie simply starred with her mouth open, at a loss for words, at the steadily increasing outline of Noah’s dick as it grew.
Noah began to grunt, and thrusted his hips causing his dick to jump a few inches at once. “Hell yeah it is,” he said proudly. “Is that still too small for you,” he asked in a mocking tone, “or should I make it bigger?”
All three of us quickly turned with panicked expressions to look at Lydia, who seemed to realize also that this could get very out of hand very quickly. The outline of Noah’s dick was obscenely huge now, reaching well past his bellybutton, and looked thicker than the top of my wrist—you know, the part that connects to the hand: it’s big, but not as thick as the rest of the wrist. Still, it was fucking ridiculous to see a dick that size.
“Noah,” Lydia said very seriously but still mimicking Jessica’s tone to not break the illusion, “your dick is back to normal size now, and you will forget this happened”.
Noah was quiet for a moment, his dick still massive, and I began to become afraid we wouldn’t be able to put it back. “Yeah, okay,” Noah agreed quietly, and we all sighed as we saw the dick begin to shrink.
“Okay,” Rylie said, grabbing me and Ethan by our shoulders and steering us up and away from Noah while jerking her head at Lydia to follow. “None of us,” she said slowly making eye contact with each of us, “speaks of this again, and none of us messes with Noah again while he’s sleeping.” She waited for each of us to nod our agreement before rubbing the sides of her temples at how weird a turn this night had taken, before looking at Ethan and saying a little curtly, “Now, please take me home. I wanna go to bed.”
The following month passed uneventfully, and while Ethan, Rylie, and Lydia all carried on as if what happened that night never occurred, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Maybe they were all drunker than me then, so they thought it hadn’t happened. Lydia probably didn’t even remember it—she was throwing up that night. I was normal around Noah and didn’t tip Ethan off that I was slowly becoming obsessed with what I’d seen, but every night I would fall asleep imagining scenarios that were steadily becoming more and more outrageous.
I was walking down the hall to my front door, thinking about the pre-calc class I’d just finished, when I glanced up as I entered through the door and saw that nobody else but Noah was home, and he was passed out on the couch.
I mean… hey, when opportunity knocks.
I walked quickly past him to go put my backpack and other stuff in my room, and ran back in like a little kid running to the tree on Christmas morning. I stealthily sat down next to him and pondered what my course of action would be. It wasn’t 2 a.m. like it had been the last time; it was (I checked my phone) 12:30 p.m., so there was the danger of him not being as deep asleep. If he woke up to me saying anything remotely like I wanted there’d be no coming back from that, he’d think I was a creep. Also, I wasn’t really sure how to initiate the conversation. Should I begin it myself, or wait for him to mumble something? Then I thought back to what had happened at the end last time, and how it almost looked as if we wouldn’t be able to change Noah back. Whatever I did had to be small and easily reversible. What if he woke up before I had him changed back—or what if Ethan suddenly came home?
I was starting to stress out, there were too many factors that could all go wrong in their own ways. Maybe I should listen to what Rylie had said and stick to the pact we’d made to not do this again. I was pulled from the midst of this anxious back-and-forth when suddenly Noah moved, causing me to jump and fall back away from him. I sat up quickly scrambling for a reasonable explanation on what I was doing if he’d woken up, but he hadn’t. He had simply shifted. He was in grey sweat pants and a black tee with an orange flower on it that had Japanese writing underneath. It was from Urban Outfitters—I’d been there with him when he’d bought it. It had cost $45, and I rolled my eyes like I had that day when he’d said he was getting it. That place was so overpriced it was ridiculous.
“Nice game, man.” I re-focused on Noah as he spoke, and feeling like Sherlock Holmes I deduced he was dreaming about playing basketball. Not exactly the same as last time, but I could work with it.
Forgetting all my previous apprehensions I scooted back to where I’d been before he spooked me and began directing whatever story was playing inside his head. “Yeah, man,” I began, “your dunk is getting really good.” I winced at how lame and fake that sounded, but I had never played, nor watched, basketball in my life so I had no idea how one talked about it with their friends. I half expected him to wake up laughing at me, but he unexpectedly took the bait.
“Thanks, Jorff, I’ve been really working at it,” he smiled in his sleep. Fuck, it was cute. I assumed “Jorff” was his friend Jeff that he frequently played ball with, and he messed up the name. I didn’t hold it against him as he was sleeping and I was harassing him. This was pleasant and all, but I needed to spur the story on a path that provided more opportunity for fun. I racked my brain and grasped at the first idea that came to me.
“So I heard you hooked up with Aubry Thompson,” I sat back and watched his face hoping this hypothetical situation piqued his interest enough to latch on. Aubry Thompson was a random girl from the econ class we had together who was pretty, and I prayed he’d noticed her to know who she was and was attracted enough to her to wanna dream bang her.
The grin from the compliment on his dunk shifted to a cocky sideways one as he replied, “Yeah, it just kinda happened last night at this party.”
My eyebrows shot up at how easily he’d bought into that, and even made up the backstory. This couldn’t be normal dream behavior, people just didn’t improv with others when sleep-talking did they? Either way I knew my end-goal here and the path we were on now led very easily to it. “Have you heard what she’s been telling everyone?” I asked, praying he didn’t make something up or say yes.
His cocky grin faltered and his eyebrows bunched together from worry. “No, what’s she saying?” he responded.
I closed my eyes at my luck, and thought very carefully at what I would do next. I had bigger plans in mind, but decided to play it safe for solo round one. “It’s nothing bad man, she’s saying you have the biggest dick she’s seen. Ten inches.”
I waited with bated breath as I watched his face go from slightly worried to scandalously cocky, to which he responded, “Hah, oh well, yeah, what can I say, man, I’m blessed.”
I eagerly shifted my mind to his crotch area, and saw as the space inside began to fill up. I realized at this point though I had forgotten a crucial part, which was to make sure he was hard before he grew. “Fuck,” I quietly said, as I wracked my brain for a way to make it happen. I had an idea, but it was risky, and its success relied entirely on how competitive Noah was. “I mean, yeah man,” I said agreeing with what he said, ending with, “if that’s really true.”
His grin completely melted as he looked annoyed by what I’d said. “What do you mean, if that’s true?” he asked.
“I mean, ten inches is pretty big man.”
“You saying I lied?” he retorted quickly, a question I had not expected.
I scrambled for a correct response. “No, no man. I just think maybe she thought it was bigger than it was and got it wrong.”
His annoyed expression softened slightly as he responded, “Oh, well, it is man.”
“Look,” I said a little impatiently with how long it was taking to get to what I wanted, “I’m sorry man but I just don’t believe you”. His face became infuriated,
“What, do you want proof?” he snapped back, and I grinned from ear to ear. This is what I had been relying on, I knew Noah would get competitive and not be able to resist proving me wrong if I challenged it.
“Sure,” I said, expectant of what would follow.
I had been wrong about what would follow.
I expected him to get a boner and show me the outline, but this boy shifted, grabbed the sides of his sweatpants, and pulled them down so that his actual naked dick was on full display. I starred at it, fully unable to process how lucky I was. It looked to be around 7 and a half inches soft with the added size I’d given him, and it was flopped onto the side of his large thigh in all its large glory. I realized I hadn’t said anything.
“Um, dude,” was all I could think to say.
“What,” he snapped back, still annoyed with “Jorff”.
“That’s not ten inches, man.”
“Oh, well yeah hang on I gotta get hard, dude, I’m not ten soft.” His infuriated expression lessened to a focused one as his already hefty dick began to inflate. It slowly thickened and elongated with every pulse of his heart, and at first it slowly stretched down his thigh, but as it stiffened it began to rise up toward his stomach. It hit his navel and kept going up, thickening and filling with more and more blood. I watched completely captivated as it finally came to a stop, a huge, pulsating, monster of a phallus standing rigidly straight.
“Wow,” was all I could get out, but that was enough as Noah smirked.
“Told ya dude,” Noah said as he pulled his sweatpants back up and relaxed back into the couch. The outline of the monster still very visible. With the object of my fascination gone, I realized this had been going on for a little bit now, and the likelihood of Ethan coming home or Noah waking up was only increasing the longer I kept this going. This had been fun, but I needed to know when enough was enough, for now.
“Noah,” I said, in a serious tone like I’d heard Lydia use that first night. I was about to tell him that his dick would return to normal when I had an idea. A brilliant, ingenious, amazing idea. “Your dick will shrink back down to one inch bigger than your new normal size, and you will forget about this dream,” I said slowly and clearly, praying this worked.
A few seconds passed with just him breathing, when he finally said, “Yes,” which didn’t really make sense, but I took it. I saw the behemoth dick begin to shrink, and watched as it returned to a more relatively small boner, but one inch bigger than Noah had had when falling asleep. I grinned like the grinch as I reveled in my plan. I would have my fun with dream Noah, but slowly, so as to remain conspicuous, I would grow him permanently in real life. I began to get a boner as I imagined him slowly getting bigger and bigger, confusingly grabbig his underwear when they would get tighter with the bigger bulge, or raising his eyebrows as his jockstrap began to stop fitting. Yes, this was going to be fun. I got up and rallied myself to go start my pre-calc homework and left my slumbering friend to wake up to the nice addition I’d provided him.