For my next trick

by Alex Anders

 A naked magician performs for an eager bachelor party, and even gets a few surprises of his own.

Added: Nov 2022 Updated: 26 Nov 2022 3,314 words 1,680 views 4.5 stars (4 votes)

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“All right, gentlemen, for my next trick, I will need a volunteer from the audience!” the magician said. “Perhaps the man of the hour?”

“No no, I couldn’t possibly!”

“Oh what’s the harm,” the magician said, as his mates egged him on. “I’m not that kind of magician. Despite my attire.” Or lack thereof, more like.

“Oh all right, I guess it is my last night as a free man.” The bachelor got up and approached the magician. How his mates convinced him to hire a naked magician, he’ll never know.

“Now, first order of business,” the magician said, “I’ll need you to strip off your clothes.”

“Dude!”

His mates cheered. “C’mon, we’re all gay here!” one of them shouted.

“Please, sir, I have a reputation to maintain,” the naked magician pleaded. “I’ve built my entire career around not having anything up my sleeve!”

“About not having a sleeve to put anything up, you mean!” one of the audience members hooted.

“Semantics,” the magician waved off. “Point is, I can’t do the trick if you’re clothed.”

The man of the hour rolled his eyes as his mates started chanting for him to strip. But he obliged them, and the crowd went wild.

When he was naked, the magician clapped his hands and exclaimed “Excellent!” then pulled a guillotine out of his box of tricks.

“Whoa, buddy,” the groom-to-be said. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Oh relax,” the magician said. “It’s perfectly safe. I guarantee you will be alive and whole by the end of it.”

“And if I’m not?”

“Then everyone here is a witness to murder and I go to jail,” the magician said soberly. “But I’ve done this trick countless times and have never lost a victim—I mean, volunteer—yet.”

The groom-to-be eyed the French execution device suspiciously, but shrugged and put his head on the chopping block. “This is the head you want, right?” he asked.

“Of course, I’m not a serial killer.”

The bachelor bent up from his crouch to glare at the magician.

“You know what I mean,” the magician said. “Now put your head down.”

“When will I know the trick—” The blade sliced through his neck. “—augh!”

Augh!” the audience screamed with him.

“Ohmygod, oh my god, my head and my body are actually separated, I’m actually in two pieces, I’m… I’m… Still alive? And breathing? And speaking?”

“Told you it would work,” the magician smirked.

“Oh my god, this is so weird,” the decapitated bachelor said. His body stood up—a little awkwardly, given he had no head—and stumbled and groped around to the front of the guillotine. A few more awkward fumbles, and he had his head in his hands.

“Oh my god,” he said again, looking over his body, especially the smooth patch of skin where his head used to be. “I’m holding my head in my hands. My head and my body are two separate pieces, and I’m holding my head in my hands!”

“And enjoying it immensely, I see,” the magician said, grinning widely and pointing at the decapitated bachelor’s swelling cock.

“You have no idea,” the bachelor said. He looked at his own crotch and licked his lips. With a little more awkward fumbling, he turned his head to face it properly and straight up swallowed his cock whole.

The audience went wild as their friend went down on his own cock, sucking himself dry.

“This is the best trick ever,” the bachelor said, a load of cum dripping from his mouth.

“Ah, but we’re not done yet,” the magician said. “I did promise you’d be alive and whole by the end of it, didn’t I?”

“Oh do we have to?” the decapitated bachelor whined.

“Unfortunately, yes. I can’t keep you in two pieces indefinitely. But there is one question I need to ask you: Do you want me to put your head back where it came from, or where it belongs?”

The bachelor, and the audience, blinked in confusion. “What’s the difference?” the bachelor asked.

The magician just smiled, coy. “Pick one and find out.”

The bachelor did. “I want you to put my head back where it belongs.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” the magician said. He reached out to take the head from his victim—I mean, volunteer. “May I?” he asked.

“Certainly,” the decapitated man said, and handed his head over.

The naked magician pulled a dildo from his box of tricks. “First, I need to open the gates, so to speak,” he said, and pushed the dildo into the bottom of his volunteer’s head’s neck.

The head moaned, and his body shivered in anticipation. “Oh god, it feels like I have an ass in my neck!” he cried.

“That’s the idea,” the magician said. Next, he pulled some lube from his box of tricks and squirted it on his volunteer’s cock. “Now I need to prime the pump, so to speak.” He rubbed his volunteer’s cock vigorously, slicking it down and revving it up.

“And now, the grand finale!” the magician declared, and plugged his volunteer’s head onto his cock.

The bachelor gagged from the sudden intrusion of a cock up his throat, but then lost himself in the sudden bliss of his head finally being where it belonged. He tongued at his cock as it stuck fast to his throat and then diffused into his head, and then took his head in hand and felt a jolt of pleasure as his head became his dick.

He stroked himself: combed his fingers through his hair, traced over his chin, pulled at his ears, stuck his fingers in his mouth and sucked and soon, he was cumming for the second time that hour.

“Oh god, thank you! Thank you so much!” the crotch-headed bachelor cried. “How can I ever repay you?”

The naked magician just smiled and said, “Your fiancé was the one who arranged for me to come tonight. You can thank me by thanking him.”

“Oh, I will,” the bachelor cried again, now ten times happier with the knowledge that his fiancé wanted him this way. “I will!” The crotchhead returned to his seat, naked and eager for the rest of the show, enjoying his new vantage point immensely.

“Excellent!” the naked magician declared. “Who’s next?”

All hands shot up.

As his next victim—I mean, volunteer—approached and stripped, the magician put away the guillotine.

“Aw, you’re not gonna cut off my head?” the volunteer whined. The audience booed.

“I never perform the same trick twice in the same show,” the magician declared. “Besides, most people’s heads really do belong on their shoulders,” he looked over his next volunteer appraisingly, “it’s the rest of them that needs to change.”

And with that, the naked magician pulled out a fancy glass cabinet on wheels from his box of tricks. “Please step inside,” he instructed, and his volunteer did just that.

“What’s it do?” he asked as he slotted his body into the surprisingly tight and form fitting cabinet.

“You know that trick with the guy in the box?” the magician asked gamely, shutting the box tight.

“The vanishing chest?”

“No, the other one.” And then the naked magician gave the upper half of the box a sharp twist. Since the box was form fitting, it also twisted the victim—I mean, volunteer—inside.

Augh!” the volunteer cried, and the audience echoed him, as his head and torso flipped around but his ass and crotch did not, twisting him ass-forwards.

“Ohmygod, oh my god,” the twisted man cried, “my body’s all twisted up and—” He twitched his leg. “Oh, thank god, I can still feel my legs.”

“That’s not the only thing you can feel,” the magician smirked as his volunteer’s cock swelled.

“Oh my god, yes, you have no idea how much I wanted this!”

“Oh, I always have some idea,” the magician said as he flipped the whole box around to face the audience. He then reached into his box of tricks and pulled out a bottle of massage oil. “I trust you want this?” The twisted man in the box nodded frantically. “Well, I’d love to do this next bit myself, but I believe your boyfriend is in the audience?”

A man from the audience sprang up and ran for the glass box, awkwardly stripping off his clothes as he went, then knelt down at his boyfriend’s ass and asked—no, demanded!—”What do I do?”

“You take this bottle of massage oil,” the naked magician instructed, “and rub it into his waist. That will relax his flesh so it holds its new shape, and you two can fuck happily ever after!”

The twisted man’s boyfriend practically snatched the bottle, then remembered his manners. He stood up, opened the upper half of the box and asked if this is what his boyfriend wanted.

“More than anything,” he replied.

The boyfriend grinned, gormless, and said, “Me too.” He poured some of the oil on his hands, then rubbed it into his boyfriend’s waist.

The twisted man moaned as his flesh relaxed into its new shape, and in the excitement, his already straining cock shot a hot load all over the interior of the box. “Sorry, man,” he said.

“No worries,” the magician waved off, “it’s glass. But now for the moment of truth.” He gestured for his volunteer’s boyfriend to move off and, when he had, closed the box back up. “Now, I could just build these so they could open both ways,” the magician said, “but then I wouldn’t be able to really show off!” He twisted the box—and the man inside—back around ass-backwards, then opened the door and helped his victim—I mean, volunteer—out. As he did so, the twisted man immediately twisted back around ass-forwards!

“Oh god,” he moaned, as he looked down at his ass and started massaging it, “I’m perfect!”

“You are,” his boyfriend replied, and walked up to him to give him a tight embrace and a steamy kiss. The twisted man responded in kind, and soon all semblance of decorum was abandoned as the one stuffed his cock into the other’s ass, never breaking the embrace or the kiss. A few short minutes later, both men were cumming hot loads to the cheers of the audience. The two lovers giggled and staggered back to their seat, naked and eager for the rest of the show, enjoying their new positions in life.

The naked magician wiped a tear from his eye. “This is why I do this,” he said, “to bring happiness and joy to people’s lives.”

“And hot hot fuckin’,” someone from the audience hooted.

“You sir,” the magician said, wearing a mock scowl, “have just volunteered!”

The audience laughed.

“All right,” the heckler said, “What do I do?”

“First, you take these,” the magician handed him a bottle of Windex and a rag, “and clean up the mess my last trick left.” The audience laughed.

“I got naked for this?” the heckler asked; the audience laughed again.

“Oh relax, there’s an actual trick,” the magician said, “I just don’t like to put my equipment away without a thorough buffing first.”

“I’ll bet you don’t,” the heckler smirked, the audience laughed again.

“Such a mouth on you,” the magician complained, a glint in his eye, “we’re going to have to fix that.”

The heckler rolled his eyes and gave the naked magician’s equipment a thorough buffing while the magician rummaged through his box of tricks. As his impromptu assistant finished his task, he pulled out a bicycle pump, of all things.

“This next trick is a Great Nudini exclusive,” the naked magician said, taking the now clean twisting cabinet from the heckler and putting it away. “And all its victims enjoy it immensely.”

“Don’t you mean volunteers?” his next victim asked.

“No. Now stick out your tongue.”

“Like thith?” the heckler said, and then felt a sharp pain as the magician drove the bicycle pump’s spike into its tip. “Augh!” he cried, and the audience echoed.

The magician started pumping, and with each pump, his victim cried out. First in agony, then in wonder, then in pleasure as his tongue swelled larger and rounder and stiffer and quite clearly became a rude, red erection that completely filled his mouth, the head poking from his lips.

“Much better, wouldn’t you agree?” the magician asked. The audience cheered their assent; the heckler just nodded dumbly, taking his new dick to hand. It wasn’t long before his body shuddered with orgasm, but nothing came out.

“Sorry about that,” the magician said, “forgot to add the balls.” He pulled on his victim’s new cock, pulling it all the way out, stretching the lips into a foreskin and collapsing the jaw and chin completely. He stuck the bicycle pump in at the base, causing the silenced heckler to jolt in surprise, and started inflating again. Soon, a plump, round ballsack with two plump, round balls was hanging from the man’s face just beneath his cock.

The heckler whimpered and gurgled as he took his already resurging manhood to hand again, and came properly this time.

“Better?” the magician asked.

His face-cocked victim nodded.

“Now as fun as that was,” the magician said, fiddling with the pump, “I can’t let you go around without a mouth, so let me just—” he made to deflate the heckler’s face cock, but the heckler grabbed his arm and, with a glare, brought the pump lower.

“Ah, yes, how silly of me,” the naked magician said, chagrined, “I should have known!” He inserted the pump’s spike into the heckler’s original balls, and started working the pump, now set to deflate. When the balls were gone, he pushed the cock into his victim’s—yes, by this point, volunteer’s—crotch, bunching the foreskin up into a new set of plump lips and jutting the taint out into a new chin and jaw. A few more pumps, and the crotch cock was now a crotch mouth.

The heckler tried to speak, but no words came out.

“Something’s missing,” the magician wondered aloud, tapping his chin uncertainly. He snapped his fingers. “Ah, yes! Got your nose!”

The childish taunt became suddenly real as the magician really did pull the heckler’s nose clean off his face. The heckler panicked as his airway was cut off, then sucked down a deep, musky breath as the magician placed his nose where it belonged—over the new mouth in his crotch.

“Oh-h-h-h” the face-cock crotch-mouth half sighed in relief, half moaned in pleasure. “That hits the spot! You, sir, are doing god’s work!”

“Debatable,” the magician said, “now give this a thorough buffing.” He shoved the bicycle pump in his volunteer’s chest.

The crotch-mouthed heckler smirked. “Anything else you want me to buff?”

The naked magician smirked right back. “Meet me after the show and find out.”

“Ooooooh,” the audience taunted.

“This next trick will require two victims,” the magician declared. “I mean, volunteers.”

A pair of boyfriends perked up and fairly sprinted up to the magician. As they stripped, he pulled out a bare wooden table with an ominous slit down the middle and an enormous two-handled saw.

“Doesn’t the saw-the-man-in-half trick only need one man?” one of the volunteers asked.

“At least if you’re doing it for real?” the other added.

“Not if you’re doing it my way,” the magician said coyly. “Now get on the table.”

The volunteers did so, side by side. The magician gave them each a handle of the saw and instructed them to begin. “I will guide you and make sure you don’t cut anything important, but you’ve got to do all the hard work.”

The two men, thus encouraged, laid the saw across their abs and started pulling back and forth. There was no pain, only erotic pleasure as the saw bit into their flesh and split them both in twain. When they started eating into the wood, they were so distracted that they cut it completely in half before they could stop.

Not that the magician tried to. He simply grinned while he pulled the two halves apart. “And now we come to the reason I do this trick with two people,” the naked magician announced. “Do you two want me to put your bodies back together the way they were, or the way they should be?”

“Should, should!” the two halved men cried, already turning their smoothly cut torsos toward each other without any prompting.

“Getting ahead of ourselves, I see.”

“You already did that trick!” the heckler hooted.

“Don’t make me bring out the pump again, I just had it buffed.”

“Yeah ya did!”

The magician just rolled his eyes as he pulled a tube of putty from his box of tricks. “Easy fellas,” he commanded. “You can’t just mash ’em together and hope they stick. You gotta put this on first.” He smeared the putty onto the body stumps, then let them resume.

This time, they felt an orgasmic release as their body rewired to accommodate the fact that it now had two head ends and no ass ends. Their abs merged and their guts rearranged and their heads became each other’s cocks, complete with ejaculation ability, which quickly came apparent.

“Oh god, that was amazing,” one end said.

“You can say that again,” the other end said.

“Oh god, that was amazing,” the one end repeated.

They both giggled, then propped themselves up on their elbows.

“What are we gonna do about our ass ends?” the one end asked.

“I dunno,” the other end replied. “I’ve never really thought about that. Usually, I just imagine they get absorbed into the other guys’ head ends.”

“Same, honestly.”

“Never fear,” the magician announced, “I’ve done this trick before, and the ass ends always make a lovely mount.” He smeared some of the putty onto the ass ends’ stumps, and then gently brought them together. The head ends both moaned in a sudden jolt of pleasure that died away as the ass ends merged into their own being.

The ass ends themselves woke up into a life of glorious pleasure and started humping the table until they came. The naked magician gently pulled them off before they could get splinters in their dicks, then told the double head how to take care of their new pet double ass.

“And you,” he pointed at the crotch-mouthed heckler, “have more buffing to do!”

 

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