Sometimes, your faith in your barkeep gives you more than you bargain for… especially when substitutions are made.
Added: Dec 2018 2,224 words 3,685 views 5.0 stars (1 vote)
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He had allowed himself to sleep in late.
It was Saturday, and the curtains shined a sliver of sunlight through them onto the faces of a sleeping snow leopard. He chuffed and turned to the other side, whisking the blanket off of him and resting the weight of his morning boners on the bed. It was just enough to require him to stretch… one, two, three pairs of arms out as he flopped back on his back, and then stretch his legs out as well. One… two… three pairs, a front pair and two rears.
By that time, it was too late to stay in bed. He was up… and in more ways than one. He yawned out of all three muzzles and murred as he sat up and slowly opened his eyes… to the sight of a small forest of cock on top of a mountain range of pecs.
His mind slowly getting into gear, he touched one of the cocks, slowly counting them. Nine, in three rows of three, reaching from groin to shoulders and as thick as a 1-liter bottle of soda. Feeling around his groin, he noticed his ballsac… like someone had loaded it up with baseballs.
The only thought of his was the bathroom, so he shifted his mass over and got onto his feet. Carefully he navigated from his room to the bathroom next door, plopped his back against the far side of the tub, and proceded to paint the stall. Thick heavy streams of pre and seed shot from his canons. In the haze of the orgasm his tails, nine of them, had managed to work the bathtub controls; hot water sprayed on his massive six-pec chest.
After a half-hour he was awake enough to realize where he was. He grabbed his caffeinated shampoo and lathered up… oooh did he need that. Feeling his shafts relax and flop down over his stuffed ballsac, the caffeine shaking him awake, he was able to clean up the mess he made on himself and the bathtub… and he was purring in surround sound.
The shower done, he stepped out, grabbed a big towel, and moved out to the hallway mirror. There, his sculpted body showed it weird beauty. A single head, sporting three muzzles side by side by side, with six eyes to look out and six ears to listen to. A stacked chest, split into two rows of three to support his heavily muscular arms, pectorals grown out to bulge a foot past his ribcage. Underneath, a heavily defined, thick torso similarly split with a middle column of muscle. His waist, however, was no comparison to his hips, which widened enough to handle his nine cocks, his ballsac stuffed with twenty seven baseball-sized testicles, and six muscular legs keeping him up. His tails twitched, all nine of them, thick as a snow leopard of his stature.
And so he turned, showing his thickness from front to back… and thick he was, almost going to half a cube in volume. He posed for a few minutes, working out his motions and movements. This caused his cocks to stiffen up again, jutting out three feet. Turning again, he stopped on a pose, and waited there until his cocks deflated back down, while admiring his thick butt that jutted out, a side effect of his six legs on his hips. The snow leopard walked up to the mirror and checked his hair and his hands, noticing the extra fingers he now sported on them. Broad, eight-fingered, one thumbed hands.
“Roy,” he said with all three muzzles, “it’s time for that mohawk. Lets get some clothes and coffee first.” He went over to the living room and picked up the phone. Carefully he dialed his neighbor’s number… and it picked up. “Hey Red? It’s Roy, from next door… Rather good strangely enough, given what I’m looking like now. I think you were doing custom clothing… oh…. ooooohhh… oh! In that case, can you come over? That speedo you’re designing for massive multi member just got a customer…”
The video microscope was back out at the Dragon’s Horde, but this time Dan was looking at a brown liquid sample. Cyren came out and noticed, saying “Dan…”
Dan didn’t blink an eye. “Sorry, boss, but something’s just… I had a bad feeling about this new coffee liqueur we got from that new place, Strong Coffee.”
“Oh yeah, didn’t you try it out on some person?”
“I did, a snow leopard from the gym. But… I think the coffee is too strong. Here, I think this is a different bot design.” Dan slid over and showed Cyren on the screen some of the captures he took. Cyren took a look… and recoiled.
“Wha… wait, Strong Coffee?” Cyren said.
“Yeah, from some chick by the name of Thexder. Know her?” Dan asked.
“Um…” Cyren blushed, in a rare bit of embarrassment. “…We dated… it didn’t go so well.”
“I’d imagine. Anyway, it looks like it’s a different iteration of an earlier design, from what I can tell. The configuration is very different. In short, we can’t use this anymore.”
Cyren looked at the screen again, composing himself, and checked… “Oh yeah, the data section is in the wrong place. Mix that in, and everything is rounded up to a power of three.”
“Ugh… that’s going to be some majorly massively multi snow leopard I served last night.” Dan groaned as a stretched cerberus cougar and the massive multi-hyper snep came into the bar. “It passed the scanners but this makes me hope I didn’t kill him.”
“Maybe not,” Cyren said. “How much beer did he have after the shot?”
“Too much,” the snow leopard said. “It had a nice effect on me.”
“Hey Dan and Cyren,” the cougar purred. “This is Roy, my next-door neighbor. I can safely guess he visited last night.”
“Hey Red.” Dan said. “Yeah, I served him a mickey all right, and this one’s a doosy. How ‘ya feeling, Roy?”
“Awesome!” Roy roared. “I was plateu’ing in my workouts but this is great. My students are going to just go ape over this. I may get a few cancelations in my weightlifting classes but…”
“Lend me your card, Roy,” Cyren said. “I can send some folk over to ‘ya. You’re at Rocky’s?”
“Yep, best gym in town. Coach said I was a monster when I visited to make sure he knew.”
“Nice. Glad Red got you squared.”
“True, true.” Roy said. “Just a soda, please?”
“Which one?” Dan said as a rather thick, muscled tigerfox hybrid rushed in. Stuffed into a t-shirt, jeans, and kitchen apron, she ran up to the counter and said, “Stop using the coffee liquor!!!”
“Thexder?” Cyren said, looking at the tigerfox. “We’ve already stopped after one guy.”
Thexder panted, “It’s going to massively multiply a person. You should of gotten the nonspiked liquor…”
“Sit down, Thexder.” Cyren said. “We know. We’re admiring what you’ve done.”
“Sit. Down.” growled Cyren. Thexder sat down on a barstool.
“Mile a minute, much?” Dan said while pouring a Coke from a can. He grabbed a can of Sprite from the fridge and plonked it in front of Thexder. “Here, on the house, calm down. I’ve only used it once, on Roy here, and I had some misgivings on it.”
“I thought I switched it off of using alcohol and onto regular sugars and fats…” Thexder started to say.
“What…?” Roy started to say, before Red patted his shoulder. He turned to the cougar.
“Body change is by nanotechnology, and Dan’s good at reading people. Problem is, he was using the coffee liquor as a flavorant, right?”
“Sort of a last-minute substitution since I was out of the coffee boch.” Dan said. “When you then went for another eight unspiked beers is what tipped me off, and I stopped using the liquor.”
“Oh that’s good.” Cyren said. “I put that safety feature in after our breakup.”
“You didn’t…!” Dan started to yell.
“He didn’t.” Thexter said. “His notes were all over the workshop, and they looked interesting. I was undecided in college, so I chose my major into biotech.”
“So you got a head start,” one of Red’s heads said. “And if I can guess, one bit of nano is used as a plug-in in others. Yours isn’t quite as compatible as his.”
“Yeah.” Thexter said. “Ugh… Cyren, what are going to do?”
“Nothing.” Roy said.
“What?” Thexter said, while Cyren pulled off a smug look on his muzzle.
“I’m loving this body,” Roy said. “Granted, I gotta limit a few things…”
“We can check that,” Cyren said. “Look into my eyes.”
Roy looked as Cyren peered into them. The dragon hmmmed… before ducking down and pulling out what looked like a blood glucose meter.
“I looked into your eyes to see how cute they were.” Cyren said. “But I do need to prick your finger and test the nanites. Pick a finger.”
Roy pointed to one on one expansive hand, and Cyren pricked it to sample some blood. A few seconds later, he looked at the read-out. He then showed it to Dan, and asked “Your read on this?”
Dan looked, and said “Roy, I’d give you a Flush-out, to be honest. You get the keep the form but there’s no going back. Anything else needs Thex’s notes…”
“Tess,” Thexter corrected.
“Tess Thexter?” Cyren said.
“You did break up after the first date,” Tess said. “But my first name is Tess.”
“So region two on the nanites?”
“Library routines. Looks like some of my code got interpreted as data.”
“I’d say. Roy does look cute for a musclefur.”
Roy blushed… “That flush-out…”
“On the house,” Cyren said. “Better safe than sorry, and that’ll let you drink coffee and booze.”
Roy’s eyes opened wider than the depth-charge mugs behind the barkeeps. “Give up coffee and beer?!?” he exclaimed. “Gimme the damn flush-out!”
“You better mix it, Cyren.” Dan said. “Tess and I need to sort out that coffee liquor. When is Archie due back, anyway?”
“Next week. But the coffee bock is coming in any minute.”
“Then let’s wait for the good stuff then.” Roy said. “Got a lunch menu?”
Roy left the bathroom and rejoined Red and Tess back at the bar. Several good brews and a good open-face sandwich hit the spot… but he had to go. So he went, and came back after taking care of business.
“So?” Red asked, leaving out details.
“So what?” Roy said with one muzzle, while another said, “Water please.”
“You leave a mess or what?”
“Don’t you have…?”
“I have all three go when I drain.”
“Oh. Yeah. Top Center only, thankfully. Having my forest all go would be… messy.”
Cyren said, “That’s good. Saves on our cleaning bill. Bad enough we keep finding folk having to unload instead of drain.”
“Stop serving the Jackrabbit shot,” Red said angrily, all three heads growling. “I tried that and it took me an entire week just to get it out of my system. I wasted my PTO on it!”
Cyren flinched at the complaint. “Okay, okay. I’ll talk to Gwen about recovering the paid time off. At worse I’ll write a check for a few thousand dollars.”
“Or prepay my bar tab…” Red muttered as he sunk back down.
“And no more experimenting on Red?” Dan chimed in.
“But where am I going to find volunteers?” Cyren said sheepishly.
“Isn’t your company still hiring, Red?” Roy said. “Why not interview them here?”
“We are, but…” Red started, before he paused in thought… “You know, most of our staff is transformed in one way or another. It would be a good test, but on the temp stuff.”
“Same as what we do here,” Cyren said. “Our three new line chefs tried four arms initially over last weekend. Then they asked for six each when we hired them officially. The lunch-time crew was the same. Only had a handful of rejections.”
“Let’s both take it up to Gwen then, but first through Greg.”
“Chain of command,” Roy said. “Works everywhere.”
“Agreed,” Cyren said, and poured a straight brew on the house. There is one thing that everyone knew, is that things get resolved when you talk them out over a cold one at the Dragon’s Horde.
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Originally Added: December 2018
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