Mail order

by Unknown

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David was so happy, it had finally come, he had waited 8 to 10 weeks for it and now it was hear. He had been praying that he would be home and alone when it came in, and as luck would have it, he was.

“Dr. Amazing's Amazing Growth Juice”

Proven to increase muscle mass, or your money back!!

David was scrawny, and for someone who was in high school, it meant that he was picked on constantly, but no longer.

He snuck up to his room and closed and locked the door, now he was totally private.

He quickly undressed and tore the box open, inside was a small bottle of yellow-ish liquid and a booklet, “The Ins and Outs of Growth Juice”

“Step 1- he read aloud, please put on the patented “Growth Inducing Shorts, located under the foam padding, one size fits all” David read aloud.

David quickly lifted the foam and saw a pair of black spandex shorts. “these shorts will enhance the juice and cause it to flow through your body faster,” David read on the tag.

The shorts were tight, very tight, even on his scrawny frame, every muscle was clearly visible to David, it felt almost like a second skin.

“Step 2- Open your bottle of Growth Juice and drink the bottle in one drink, if you cannot drink the bottle in one drink, it will not work right.”

David opened the bottle and took a deep breath and started chugging the liquid, it tasted nasty- like old socks and sweat, but he held fast and quickly finished the bottle.

“Step 3- you have no completed the necessary step, growth should start now. Please note, that once that growth starts, it cannot stop and must finish. If you are unsatisfied, please call this number, 1-800-GROW-BIG and ask for item #999”

David sat on his bed and waited, and waited and waited, nothing. This sucks, I spent $30 for old toilet water, he thought. He was about to take the shorts off and get dressed when he felt a stirring, he was growing.

He looked into the mirror and expected to see his peck, abs, and arms start to fill in, but they were the same. What's going on, he thought.

Then he saw it, he was growing alright, but not where he wanted.

It was slowly moving around, like a baby bird trying to poke through the egg, then it started to plump up. At first it looked like a balloon growing in his crotch, but soon it started to stretch out, slow at first, but then it gathered speed. It looked like a cucumber, then giant salami. Stop, please stop, he thought. But he remember what the instructions had said, “it cannot be stopped until it has finished.” David closed his eyes, he did not want to see what was happening. The suddenly it stopped, fortunately, it had not exploded and the shorts had held firm. Carefully he opened his eyes and looked down, it was like elephant's trunk it was so huge. This was definitely not the muscle growth he wanted. He reached for the top of the box and read it carefully-

“Dr. Amazing's Amazing Growth Juice”

and in tiny letter under it- “Penis Formula”

“Great, just great,” he thought. “Well, at least I'll be popular.”

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