The ranch

by Unknown

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Added: 1 Apr 2003 3,250 words 8,143 views No votes yet

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I was in Vegas for the big electronics convention, it was July and I felt like an egg on the sidewalk. An egg with legs, I kept thinking as I plodded along, entranced by the glittering facade that was like, all there was, you know?

I'd already got drunk, gambled too much and ate really big and unreasonably cheap buffet breakfast lunch and dinner several times.

Now jaded, (and nauseous) I was wandering around on sidewalks and thinking that I might have to actually go to the convention, just for something to do. My eggs were all scrambled and I couldn't stop thinking that there was some really great and fun shit to do here, if my brain could just tell my legs and my wallet what they were.

“Hey, brain” I thought, “a little help here…”

Standing in the open was like a senseless blast furnace, and my drunken brain was considering melting and leaking out my ears. I was in front of an enormous building that was a dead ringer for the Taj Mahal (except with flashing lights and a 40 foot neon Dream-of-Jeannie dancing over the crowds' heads. Looking straight up in fascination suddenly made me dizzy and I decided to ralph in the bushes instead of the brain-leaking thing.

After speaking with Ralph (I did all the talking) I felt much better. In less than a minute I realized that I was on my hands and knees in the bushes and leaning against a metal box. As things steadied slightly I bravely got to my feet still holding on to the box. Looking into the box I saw the lurid advertisements that you see everywhere in Sin City.

Brain paused thoughtfully at this point, and then shouted in an authoritarian manner, “Hey Dick, I know something to do that's fun…” Dick agreed, and let Brain get a flyer from the stack and start to read.

'Saturn Ranch: State Gay Approved Brothel' was the flashy title on the front page and there were 3 guys in thongs posing around the letters in a way that Dick seemed to approve of. I wondered idly if the real thing was as appealing as the ad suggested, but mused that prostitution is legal in this state after all, hustlers have been enjoying a whole new popularity.

Turning to the inside pages revealed more hot studly men (not the same ones as on the front) and really sounded too good to be true, especially with my cooked equipment.

-Clean and Courteous- -State Approved and Medically Regulated-

We Offer

The sexiest dates Doing… You!

Trades and Trances a specialty

I still had a couple of grand left for this vacation, and I was pretty sure that I knew what most of this stuff was. I walked purposefully (if a little erratically) back to my hotel and cleaned up. After a shower and no buffet, I was beginning to feel like some species of human. I called for a cab.

10 minutes later I plopped down into the funky old yellow cab and the driver asked, “Where to man?” with an Orange county accent if I know my California wastoid dialects.

“The… the Saturn Ranch?” I said hesitantly.

“Oh, sure man”, he said good-naturedly, “but that's about 40 miles away, you're talking $200 for a round-trip, man.”

“OK, that's fine.” I said relieved because this was close to what I had planned. Soon the glitz and fakery had dropped behind us and the desert abounded. Very dead-looking. I was pretty awake and sober at this point, anticipating the exotic pastimes awaiting at the place out there. As the miles rolled away I began to wonder how things worked.

“Say, man, how much do they charge out there?” I asked the cabbie, half-afraid of what the answer might be.

“Oh, from a hundred to a thousand, depending on what you want, and multiply that if you multiply how many men you have at once.” he said indifferently, like this was pretty old hat to him.

“Hey man,” he said conspiratorially, “you should do the trade with Peter, dude, ask for Peter, tell him the works and trade, man you'll never forget it.”

“What's this trances and trades stuff? I saw that in a flyer for the ranch…” I trailed off.

“Just ask for Peter, he'll take care of you and you won't regret it dude.” he said, a big knowing grin stretching his face.

“Thanks, man, I will”, I assured him, thinking that I'd still check out what was available when I got inside. I absently noticed a green sign that read 'Pahrump City Limits' and the cab came to a sudden stop a few moments later while I was still pondering Pahrump.

“There you go dude, 84.20 on the meter, man.” the driver said good-naturedly as I stared up at a red-neon planet with rings around it above a small sign that proclaimed 'Saturn Ranch' with 'no solicitors' in smaller lettering below that. I passed the Orange county cabbie a C-note and said, “Keep the change, man, and thanks allot.” and gracefully staggered out of the cab.

There was a chain link fence around this low one-storied compound of buildings and a gate directly in front of me. A sign beside the gate said 'push button' and I stood in a quandary for a while until I noticed the doorbell-type button directly below the sign. I pushed it, not really noticing that it did anything.

Then a voice said, “Welcome to the Saturn Ranch” and I heard a loud buzzing. The gate swung open and I walked unsteadily up to the front door, to be greeted by an elderly woman, who smiled and said, “Follow me”.

I went into the dark cool place and down a short hall to a sort of parlor. “Have a seat”, said the woman and I sat down on a fancy French-looking kind of a couch. “I'm Lucy.” she said still smiling.

“I'm Andrew”, I returned automatically.

“Would you like a drink while you're waiting?” she asked calmly.

“Oh, sure, I guess uh, how about a screwdriver?” I blurted out, instantly wondering why I asked for a drink that I never drink.

“I know.” Dick thought smugly.

“OK, make yourself comfortable honey”, she smiled and moved away. I started to look at a curtain with some tassels on it and she was back almost immediately, screwdriver in hand.

She handed it to me, and I slowly started to sip. Before the third sip, I suddenly went into sensory overload as about 8 handsome boys, males, men or hunks shuffled into the room and stood before me in a very loose lineup.

No wonder prostitution was making a comeback. Dick was speechless.

“This is Andy, gentlemen, say hello.”, said Lucy from behind me.

Smiling, each man said his name and seemed to really want to be the one I picked, by the way he thrust his groin out or slowly ground his ass in the air or just stood and swayed.


“I'm Bobby.”

“Allan, Hi.”


“Hi, I'm Harold.”


I didn't hear any more after that, because it struck me at the same time I saw him that the cab driver had recommended him and trades, whatever that was. Incredible ass, luscious pecs and a fiery red flat-top. I made up my mind instantly, and my dick concurred whole-heartedly.

I looked at Peter and said, “Peter…”

At least I think my mouth moved, but anyway he smiled and put that incredible body in motion, taking my hand and leading me down a dark hallway and finally into a room. As I walked behind him I was mesmerized by the movements of that incredible ass. He closed the door behind us and turned around, still holding the doorknob against his ass and smiling eagerly.

“Well, Andy, what's your pleasure today?” she said.

I was dumbfounded at first. He waited for an answer for a few moments, then turned around and started caressing his body. I instantly felt bad for being slow and blurted out, “I wouldn't mind doing what you're doing, for example, and everything else too.”

He gave me a curious look and then said, “Everything could be expensive…”

“Well, I was wondering about this Trades thing I've heard about”, I said hesitantly. “The cab driver said you were the best”, I added, trying to upgrade my image a little.

At this his face lit up with a beautiful smile and he stepped towards me, smiling and looking into my eyes. He reached down and started to stroke my hard member through my jeans. “That's right, I am the best on trades, and for you…” He seemed to be measuring my straining tool with his fingers, for you everything is $300.

That was much less than I thought it would be, and I quickly agreed. I counted out the cash, adding an extra hundred and handed it too him. He took it and left the room, promising to be right back.

Hhe did come back shortly, closed and locked the door and strolled sexily to the bed and laid down on his side, looking at me. “Come here, Andy”, she growled enticingly.

I walked over beside the bed whereupon he immediately began again rubbing my groin through my pants and undulating in a very distracting way. As he did this he picked up a thin loop of metal and placed it firmly on his head with her other hand. Then he stopped fondling me and picked up another metal loop and handed it to me. “Put this on”, he said, helping me to get it firmly seated like his was.

He started to rub and massage me again, then unzipped my jeans and drew out my purple stiffy. “Hi there!” said Dick joyously. He stroked slowly but purposefully until I thought it was going to be all over. He kissed the very head of the cock, licked it and rubbed it against one pec.

I moaned and he laughed softly. “Yes, you'll do fine”, he laughed. This”, he pointed at a box that looked like a hi-fi receiver with the legend 'SH-1000', “is a sensorium i/o hub and it can actually route brain signals from my brain to yours and from yours to mine.”

I moaned again and managed to ask, “You mean I'll feel what you feel?”

At this point he took my entire dick in her mouth and sucked it's entire length a few times then, removed it, wiped his mouth and said, “Yeah, kind of like that. You see, that's the trades part…” He started sucking expertly on my cock again but now held up what looked like a remote control and showed me his finger hovering over a button that said 'Trade'. I was in mid-moan when he pressed the button.

There was no sound, no motion, no transition whatsoever, but I was instantly lying on the bed, and there was a big cock in my mouth; at least I thought it was a cock because those things against my chin seemed to be balls.

I froze, my mouth a surprised (and filled) O. The man standing with his crotch in my face reached down and plucked the remote control out of my paralyzed hand, the one that wasn't on his ass.

At this I managed to move my head backwards and the dick came out of my mouth with a soft plop, but I noticed my lips and fingers were still covered with spit, I just kept saying it's only spit. “What….”, I said, even more taken back by the strange voice that I was using to say it.

“That's the trade”, said the man with a grin.

“But, I'm you…”, I said breathlessly, aware of enormous pecs heaving on my chest.

“I know it seems that way, and that I'm you, but actually the unit is just sending my sensory and motor impulses to you and yours to me.

“But I didn't want to be a bottom”, I said slowly, starting to notice strange sensations from strange places.

“Think of it this way…”, the man smiled smugly, “This man in front of you just paid this establishment $300 for you to do everything and both parties agreed. You, with the mouth and ass, are the punk and I with this raging hard-on am the customer. And you may not have lasted very long, but baby, I know a few tricks and I believe I can fuck the shit out of you for about 3 hours, let's just see if I can't…”

I reeled back on the bed in horror, and started to reach up to take off the metal headset. Before I could get a hold of the metal loop, though, the man held up the remote control and pushed another button.

I immediately rolled over, grabbed the man's cock and after flicking it against one pec a few times plunged it into my mouth and started sucking it in and out as if it contained the cure for a fatal disease that I had.

The man moaned several times then managed to say, “This is the trances part, there's other parts of your brain that we can control too. Now don't try to touch that headset again until I've gotten my 300 dollars worth or else I'll be fucking you in the ass. He moaned a few times, as I involuntarily tightened my anal sphincter and something else. I kept sucking desperately, until he started to come in great hot dollops, which, to my astonished dismay, I worked my throat and swallowed several times, getting all of it but a dribble running down my lower lip and chin. Dazedly I wiped it off with one finger and popped it into my mouth. Only then did control of the body return to me. I rolled over and stared at the man, one hand to my still sticky lips.

As I started to come out of it I stared at the man then suddenly smiled myself. “I thought you said you'd last for 3 hours, and you already came. I guess we've done everything now, huh?”

He laughed, then said, “Oh, that was just for openers, baby, now you have to get me hard again.”

I refused, only to be thrown savagely down on the bed, and to have his cock lay between my heaving man tits.

“Put it in your hand, or you'll have it in your ass,” he said quietly, and I noticed the remote still in his hand.

I gingerly reached for the organ pulsing between my pec and noticed with some dismay that the button he was holding his finger over was labeled 'Ass'. I wondered just what other buttons that thing had on it. I reluctantly touched the cock with one finger, and then managed to cup one small hand around it, not moving it at all.

“Listen, I'm not a fag, you…” I started again, and he purposefully held up the remote and showed me that he was pressing 'Oral'. The second he did, I instantly popped it in my mouth and began sucking again. He hit 'Cancel', and I sheepishly removed it.

“Stroke it.”, he said quietly, and I complied, saying nothing.

He reached down and started squeezing one nipple, causing me to gasp. I continued to slide my hand up and down his member, noticing now that it was getting hard again. “This is not good”, I thought, as I also noticed my rock hard erection between my legs.

“I just can't do this… ”, I suddenly said and removed my hand.

“All right, then,” he said matter-of-factly and pressed a button on the remote. With a blank look on my face I slowly flipped over and spread my legs wide apart, reached down and began fingering my asshole. Now I was really hard, but I couldn't stop. After a minute of this he pushed another button and my hands stopped their dirty work. I couldn't unspread my legs, however, so I settled for covering my butthole with both hands, gritting my teeth as I panted and glared at the man kneeling over me. He looked down at me for a few seconds, and then shrugged. He pushed one more button on the remote and then laid it down.

“Ass in the air, shut up!”, he commanded. I clamped my mouth shut and, with my face in a pillow, and knees spread, waved my ass sexily behind me. I felt a hand land on one hip, and then something was touching me somewhere.

He grasped my other hip with his other hand, then pulled me back and shoved forward, splitting me in half.

“Owww OOO OWW”,” I couldn't help moaning, as I thought, “I'm boned, boy am I boned.”

He pulled me back and forward on his cock over and over. I looked down to see his balls slapping my crotch. All I could do is strain towards the ceiling with my ass to help him ream me out.

After a long time, I couldn't help myself. “You fucking prick…” I began through gritted teeth.

He shoved my ass away from him and said angrily, “OK you little fag, watch this little trick!”

He walked over to the night table, opened a drawer and took out a small sledgehammer. Starting to think he was going to do something crazy, I watched numbly as he smashed the SH-1000 into Asian-made rubble. Nothing happened.

He grinned, then walked over to me and grabbed the metal loop off of my head, then removed his own, throwing them both behind him. I sat on the bed in shock. He began to caress both of my pecs and twiddling with the nipples.

“The other guys told me that you could make this permanent, but you know, I never really believed them…” He said with a grin as he pushed me back on the bed. His other hand guided him back into my ass and he began pumping once again.

“Who's the boycunt now?” as he ground his pubic hair into my ass crack.

“Who's the fucking punk now?” as his hips pushed my already spread legs outwards.

“Who's the boycunt?” he groaned as he rammed into me and I began to feel a warm pulsing spurt deep in my center, which was in me, where he was.

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