Superhero license

by Neltharion5

Gunner, a powerful superhero, is brought down by a delinquent hero license renewal. He has to be a sidekick for three randy heroes in order to regain his superhero status.

“What!” yelled the superhero. “Do you know who I am?”

The Gorgeous Gunner stood up tall displaying his amazing physique, a true paragon of male musculature. His bright red supersuit was tight, showing the superb definition of every muscle on his body in addition to his bountiful basket, a veritable cornucopia of delicious bulges. His chestnut brown hair was stylishly cut, and his hazel eyes penetrated deep into others’ souls.

The jaded woman at the desk barely batted at eyelash. “I’m sorry, sir, but you haven’t completed your superhero license renewal on time.”

“I fly down here, after seeing my renewal notice in the mail, and you can’t even give me a minute to complete the renewal form?” He pursed his lips, making his face one of the most handsome ever gazed upon. “Please… ”

She rolled her eyes. “You mean your 90-day delinquent final renewal notice?” She pointed at the clock. “Renewal processing ends at 3pm sharp.”

The clock read 3:07.

“Goddamn!” Gunner yelled. “So, what do you do for the rest of the day? Don’t tell me you’re keeping banker’s hours or some shit.”

“We abrogate licenses.” She looked him directly in his eyes over her half glasses.

He looked down at her badge. “Marjorie, please.” He flexed his pectorals in a shameless attempt to arouse or impress her. After all, he was the handsomest, most virile, and most powerful superhero in the entire city.

The woman flinched, her tight, graying bun trembling only with annoyance. “It’s Mrs. Steadman,” she corrected him tartly. But she saw Gunner’s dejected expression and sighed. “Don’t worry. You can always file an appeal.” She marked his license paperwork using a stamp of a big red circle with a line through it. “I’m afraid you’re no longer a superhero.”

The sudden devolution made Gunner feel like he was being sucked into the floor. His height was diminishing slowly but steadily. His big guns seemed weaker, his chest flatter. His abs disappeared and so did his ass. His supersuit gradually became too big for him. He even felt his cock, his wondrous manhood, shrink into a Hedwig-sized turnoff. He was now about as tall as a little person with toothpick arms, skinny legs, and… “Fantastic,” he said to himself, touching his face. “Acne.” For a few moments, he reflected on what had transpired. “I’m not the Gorgeous Gunner anymore.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” She looked down at him from the desk. “And while you’re waiting to file your appeal, you might as well fill out the paperwork for becoming a sidekick.”

“Sidekick… ” His voice was much higher now. “… Crap.” In his ridiculously too-big supersuit, he released a long sigh. Then he plodded over to the Superhero Status Appellate Arbitration Desk, also called SSAAD and affectionately pronounced Sad. There was no one there, only a sign that read, “SSAAD on hiatus. Staff will return Monday at 10am. Thank you for your interest.”

“Sad, huh?”

Gunner turned around and saw the Silver Staff, a very lean and toned hero, whose power emanated from his huge basket. Silver channeled his power through a proxy called his Staff. The Silver Staff was very tall, the tallest hero in the city. His highly defined abdominals were a twelve pack, his abs like a carton of eggs. But above all else, his cock was a true testament to twink attractiveness. His was the longest cock in the city, as verified by Licensing Bureau, although not the largest in total volume. He was dressed in a sky-blue supersuit with an indigo bikini brief underpants overlay, which contained a truly and obscenely massive bulge that resembled the outlined shape of a coiled snake and left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“Shit.” Silver said to Gunner, “That supersuit is crazy baggy on you now, isn’t it?”

“Unfortunately,” said Gunner. “Cam, was there a point to…?”

“You should really go through your mail more often.” Silver smirked. “And I’m not Cameron Yates when I’m in this suit. I’m the Silver Staff.”

“I understand,” said Gunner, looking for the Sidekick Registration Office.

“Damn.” Silver said, “Even your good looks are kinda average now because of your demotion.”

“I know, Cam,” said Gunner, walking slowly over to get registered as a sidekick.

“I was thinking… Since you’re gonna have to earn your hero status back, I could be your first superhero sponsor.”

“I… ” He thought about it for a moment. “That’s not a bad idea. Still… are you sure? Even though I trained you?”

“Why not? I mean, it isn’t weird for me if it’s not for you.”

Gunner smiled slightly. “First, I need to get out of this supersuit.”

After a wardrobe change and the completion of his initial sidekick registration form, Silver carried Gunner off to the top of one of the tallest buildings in the city.

Silver listened intently to something Gunner couldn’t hear. “A commercial aircraft is about to crash into downtown unless… ” He searched the skies. “I need to focus.” The Silver Staff locked onto the aircraft. “Hold my staff.”

“Sure.”

Silver handed Gunner his incredibly phallic staff and it dropped to the cement floor of the helipad. Although easily carried by Gorgeous Gunner, the powerful superhero, it was now insanely too heavy for the newly devolved sidekick Gunner. He could barely drag it.

“I need something to send them air traffic signals.” Silver turned to Gunner. “Or something to redirect them, like a conduit.”

“What about your staff?” asked Gunner.

“Eureka!” Silver grabbed his staff and raised it to the midpoint between the rogue aircraft and the airport’s air traffic controllers’ tower. “It’s working.” The plane got back on course and made a safe landing. Silver laughed. “Great job, sidekick.”

“All in a day’s work.”

“Hey, Gunner.” Silver smirked. “You like anal?”

“What?” Gunner could barely believe his ears.

Silver waved the staff. “This thing could blow your mind.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Trust me. I’ll be gentle.” He continued to grin at Gunner. “I promise.”

“I guess.” Gunner shrugged. “What do I have to lose?”

Unceremoniously, Silver lowered his supersuit and swallowed the three-foot long staff up with his butt. There was only a tiny bit of the staff remaining protruding from his ass. “Accommodating every supercock in the city is one of my less well-known powers.” Grinning, Silver said, “Now, it’s your turn.” Silver raised one eyebrow and removed the staff from inside himself.

Hiking down his shorts, Gunner exposed his ass. Silver slowly pumped the staff in and out of Gunner’s butt. Gunner almost fell over with orgasmic pleasure. “Dear sweet merciful Lord!” The staff felt like it was vibrating, pulsating, electrifying, searing hot and icy cold all at the same time. After only a few seconds, Gunner started cumming. “Uh, fuck!” Gunner was out of breath. “You weren’t kidding about blowing my mind.”

“That was so hot,” said Silver, “Even though you lost your shit so quickly.”

“Can you blame me?” Gunner wiped up a bit. “That thing’s like an orgasm machine.”

As Gunner replaced his shorts, Silver looked over the reapplication paperwork. He wrote down exactly what they had done to help the plane and its passengers. And then he signed.

Gunner grew, going from looking like a little person, to be a male teenager in the early stages of his growth spurt, but still well below average height.

Gunner took his leave of Silver and descended the stairs of the building. Once back on the street, he walked for a long time. Gunner eventually grew tired of walking and was ready to fly. Then he realized he didn’t have his powers, and he wandered the city, looking aimlessly for superheroes. Outside a Bear Leather Bar, toward the outskirts of the city, he found a superhero, one he recognized too.

The Grizzly Bare was the heaviest and hairiest person he had ever seen. Gunner and Grizzly’s paths had sometimes crossed, but since Grizzly had the reputation as an occasional antihero, there was little they agreed upon. Now, it was rumored that Grizzly had the overall biggest cock in city. Few had seen Grizzly’s cock erect; he himself had never because of his muscle gut, which over hanged so much that Grizzly had a poor view of his own dick. And also because he was quite dramatic ‘grower’ with a dick possessing such eminent elasticity. Grizzly was entirely covered in hair, with the exception of some parts of his face, the palms of his hands and soles of his feet, and his cock. Grizzly went nude everywhere. He was so hairy that most people couldn’t make out anything full-frontal, so it was a tolerable evil. Grizzly’s biceps and beard denoted pure masculine power. He took no crap from anyone, and to mess with him, was messing with the toughest of men.

Grizzly was smoking a cigar, sharing the smoky doorway of the bar with a few lesser men.

“As I live and breathe.” Grizzly laughed which soon turned into coughing. “The Gorgeous Gunner.”

“Yes, Terry,” Gunner said. “It’s me.”

“The last time I saw you,” Grizzly said, “You were training that glorified twinky cock sleeve, the Stupid Shithead.” Grizzly pointed at him. “And call me Terry one more time, and I’ll break your fucking legs.”

“I have a proposition for you… Mister Mavis.”

“I’m sorry, Mister Ramirez.” Grizzly took a long puff on his cigar and turned to go back into the bar. “I don’t listen to twerps.”

“Please,” Gunner said. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Grizzly stopped in the doorway.

“I’ll do anything for you,” Gunner assured him.

Grizzly turned to face him again. “I’ll take you on as a sidekick.” He put out his cigar. “Remember you said that.”

“Thank you.”

“Boys, that’s all for now.” Grizzly spurned the other bears who surrounded him. “Daddy’s going to work.” They all put out their cigarettes and went back into the bar. “Let’s hit the road, twerp.”

“All right.” Gunner followed Grizzly to the abandoned industrial buildings south of town.

“There’s something strange going on in the city.” They walked through the disused power plants and dilapidated warehouses. The freeway was right above them. Looking up through a hole in the roof of the warehouse, Grizzly and Gunner could barely see the north bound lanes of highway 2287.

“What’s happening?” asked Gunner.

“Wireless comm… ”

A sudden crash made them both look up.

Gunner yelled, “Watch out!”

A tractor trailer escaped the guardrail of the highway and plummeted down upon them. Grizzly reached out his hugely muscled arm, caught the vehicle with one hand, and put it down slowly, trying to minimize additional debris from the repositioning the truck.

The driver quickly exited the vehicle. “Thank you, sir.” He shook Grizzly’s hand and did all but bow before the Grizzly Bare. “Fuck self-driving trucks!” he exclaimed, walking away without a scratch, and he used his GPS system to exit the industrial district.

“Like I was saying,” Grizzly said, “the closed-circuit wireless communications have been malfunctioning.”

“This is serious.” Gunner asked, “Any idea who or what’s behind it?”

“Not at the moment.” He laughed. “I’m a bear. I rarely come out of my bear cave.”

“Fair enough,” Gunner said. “And that was great work, Grizz.”

Grizzly growled, “What I really wanted to do is tap that ass.” He raised his eyebrows.

“Uh… No. You’d split me in half with that giant fuck stick.”

“If you want to get me to sign off on your reapplication, you will.” His grin became wider and toothier, showing his creepy and sadistic disposition.

“I can get a different hero to sponsor me.” Gunner turned his back on Grizzly. “See ya!”

“Actually, I could allege wrongdoing on your part,” he growled once more. “That would suspend your reapplication, at least until there’s a thorough investigation.”

“Son of a bitch!” Gunner grumbled and pulled down his ill-fitting shorts. “Just do it!”

“Not my favorite brand, but I’ll take what I can get.” Grizzly started stroking his huge cock that he could barely reach.

Gunner looked back at Grizzly. His cock was only chubbed but was already thick enough to make this encounter very uncomfortable for the sidekick, to say the least. Gunner’s tight butt wasn’t like the rear of the average bear cub he seduced so often.

Grizzly’s willy was getting absolutely titanic. Gunner stared. “That’s the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.” He sighed. “And I’ve been with a lot of men, even a lot of supermen.”

“Are you almost ready?” Grizzly’s cock was fully erect. “Because I am.”

“I know I won’t be ever ready for your meat log blackmail, but do your worst.” Gunner bent over and held his ankles.

“You need to relax.” Grizzly just barely rubbed the head of his cock up against Gunner’s hole. “It will make it hurt less.”

“I’ll relax after this is over.”

“Fine.” Grizzly grabbed onto Gunner’s hips as leverage. “At least, inhale for me.”

Gunner took a sharp breath. “Ugg!” The sudden pain was like the worst constipation he could imagine. “You’re like the king of the growers.”

“Yeah, that Silver Staff is a big shower.” Grizzly grunted with each pump. “Still, I’d much rather be fucked by a nuclear missile than a 200 yards of twine.”

The painful burning Gunner was experiencing crossed a higher threshold. “I need to stop… ”

“Hold it!” Grizzly growled, “I’m almost there.”

“I need to stop now!” Gunner lurched forward, but Grizzly caught him by his abdomen. Grizzly was cumming, releasing his superheroic load. With a drooping head and sad face, Gunner removed his paperwork and put the signature page in front of Grizzly. In the explanation box, Grizzly wrote down who they helped and how. Then he signed. Gunner grew slightly taller, about an inch and a half and felt his biceps muscle fibers gain a bit more strength.

Gunner pulled up his shorts, grimacing but glad at least he had gotten some growth out of it. “You’re a real dick, ya know that?”

“Fuck you, twerp.” Grizzly gave him the finger. “Oh, wait. I already did.”

“Up yours!” Gunner crossed his arms.

Incensed, Grizzly summoned his Harley-Davidson and ripped right out of the broken-down warehouse, yelling, “Queen!”

After leaving the shadows of the industrial district by foot, Gunner came across an electronics store with flat screens in the window. On the screens was a live interview of Adam Strider, aka PecMan, a rival hero to the Gorgeous Gunner. His face was cleanshaven and youthful. PecMan’s trapezius and deltoids muscle groups were massive; they had to be strong to hold up the biggest muscular chest in the world. The hemispheres of his ass were almost as big as pectorals. And his body was clad in a paper-thin, compression tight, neon orange supersuit that accentuated all the right areas.

PecMan was the first superhero to come out of the spandex closet and reveal to the world his secret identity. This self-obsessed superhero was prone to droning on and on about himself and his successful company, Solaris, and his public works projects and the disasters he’d averted and how he’s such a good role model for young… “Blah, blah, blah.” Gunner knew that the only reason PecMan was getting so much attention now was because he would be filling the vacuum that Gorgeous Gunner’s absence created.

Ready to turn away from the video screen, Gunner heard the interviewer ask, “And is it true that you are looking for a new sidekick?”

“I am,” PecMan said, grinning like a fox. “I am holding tryouts for my new sidekick at the Solaris Building, 100 South Walnut Street… ”

Gunner gritted his teeth and said to himself, “It’s only four blocks away.” He stopped watching and ran as quickly as he could to the Solaris Building.

The lobby of the Solaris Building was one of the securer in the city. In addition to walking through a metal detector, everyone who entered had to show identification. Having his ID wasn’t the problem; looking like his ID was the issue.

The security guard examined Gunner’s ID. “Great joke, kid. Where’s your real ID?”

“I am… I’m the Gorgeous Gunner.”

“If you’re the Gorgeous Gunner, I’m the Gaping Wonder.”

Gunner said, “Then I guess you’re the Gaping Wonder.”

“That it!” The guard grabbed Gunner by the arm and led him towards the exit.

A familiar-looking woman saw the guard escorting Gunner out. She headed them off. “Officer Huskins, may I ask why you are giving this young man the boot?”

“He didn’t show valid ID.” The officer laughed. “He showed me a fake ID saying he was the Gorgeous Gunner.”

“This is the Gorgeous Gunner!” she insisted.

“Huh?” Officer Huskins looked confused.

“Please, let him go, sir.”

“Whatever, ma’am. You’re in charge.” The officer released Gunner.

“Follow me,” she said.

“Mrs. Steadman?” Gunner stared at the gray-bunned woman in amazement. She brought him to the elevator and pushed the Up button. “Why are you at PecMan’s headquarters?”

“I am on assignment from the Licensing Bureau.” They entered the elevator car. “I’m here to register PecMan’s sidekick selection.”

“Why does he warrant special treatment?” Gunner groused. The elevator car rose steadily up the shaft. “Why is he so important?”

“Because,” she said as the doors opened to the 98th floor. “He has donated tens of millions to the city’s various public works projects and civil service programs.” Gunner and Mrs. Steadman stepped into a crowd of people. “So, he essentially signs my paycheck.”

Gunner was distracted by the amassing of candidates. There were many would be sidekicks as all shapes and sizes. “Dear God,” he murmured. Mrs. Steadman assisted in directing some of the rejects back down to the lower floors. Before she boarded another elevator, she whispered to Gunner, “Make sure he knows you’re here. I’m sure he’ll pick you, unless he picks someone else first.”

Gunner shouldered through the crowd. Some of the would-be heroes were quite husky, while others were skinny as rails. They ranged from washed-up celebrities to thirtysomethings living in their parents’ basements, from wallflowers to greasy fops, from stay-at-home moms to former titans of enterprise, from fandom geeks to homecoming queens. The crazy diversity created a room that seemed more like a cosplay convention than what it was, a job fair for a very high-profile position.

Reaching a circle of densely packed bodies, Gunner could hear PecMan speaking, praising himself with every other word that came out of his mouth. He got down on all fours and crawled right through.

The smarmy hero noticed him as he stood directly in front of the applicants he was preening for. “Well, well.” PecMan grinned like the smoking hot fox he was. “Isn’t it my favorite hero… ”

“It is,” said Gunner, “And you’re my favorite hero also—my favorite level 9 superhero. I was the one who outclassed you.”

“Ah, but ‘was’ is the operative word. It’s not like you’re even in the same universe as me anymore.” He raised his voice to address the crowd. “Okay, everyone out!” He grinned again. “Mrs. Steadman, please see that all of these sidekick wannabees are escorted out of the building. And after you’ve done that, it should be time for you to send up the reporters.”

She nodded. “Yes, sir.”

As the crowd cleared out, PecMan took a long hard look at Gunner, while creepily stroking his goatee. When the last one left, he told Gunner, “I’ll be your superhero sponsor.”

“All right.”

“Imagine. My former rival, bound in servitude to me.” He grinned like a creep. “Uh… I’m getting a fucking boner just thinking about it.”

“Okie… ”

“I know you like dick.” PecMan’s grin turned crooked. “I mean 95 percent of the male superheroes do… ”

“Uh… ”

“You wanna take care of this for me?” PecMan cocked his head to the side and flexed his almighty pectorals.

Gunner could see PecMan’s gigantic superhero hardon.

“What is with the superhero misconduct in this fucking city?” remarked Gunner.

Ignoring the last comment, PecMan said, “Shall we go to my penthouse?”

Gunner grumbled. “Fine, I guess.”

PecMan grabbed Gunner by under his arms and flew them both two floors up. PecMan rolled down the lower part of his expensively crafted supersuit. His solid, shapely tool was one of the more beautiful Gunner had seen as a superhero. The billionaire grinned at Gunner. “It ain’t gonna suck itself.”

Gunner got on his knees and opened his mouth.

“Remember, Gunner,” PecMan said, “Depth of penetration is very important to me.”

Gunner leaned forward and enveloped the cock with his mouth, trying to nestle his face at the end of PecMan’s treasure trail, while his lower lip was kissing the hero’s sack.

“Whoa!” PecMan moaned as Gunner attempted to deep-throat his sponsor’s amazing cock. “Oh, baby!”

Barely being able to reach, Gunner sought PecMan’s sensitive asshole. He inserted a few fingers.

“Shit!” yelled PecMan. “Right there, right there!” He howled like a dog. “That’s the spot!” PecMan orgasmed wildly, his warm spunk shot down Gunner’s throat. He savored the haze of the afterglow. “Thank you, Gunner.” PecMan gave one of his award-winning smiles.

Gunner started to let PecMan’s softening cock slip out of his mouth.

“Don’t you get lazy on me, man.” PecMan pushed down on Gunner’s head. “Suck it all out.” He moaned again as Gunner finished him up. Wiping himself off, then throwing his sidekick the towel, PecMan pulled his lower supersuit back up. He flew Gunner back down to the 98th floor and pulled out his tablet. “Pause for a selfie.” PecMan held out his phone. “Say, ‘Hero and Sidekick!’”

Gunner rolled his eyes. “Who are you? Connor Murphy?” He said, “You’re such a media whore.”

“Another selfie.” PecMan angled the camera to get the huge Solaris media beacon. “Say Solaris!”

“Do you know anything about recent communication bugs? In closed-circuit comms?” asked Gunner.

“Accidents happen every day.”

“I never said anything about accidents.” Gunner crossed his arms. “What’s going on here?”

Suddenly, the media beacon they’d just been posing in front of began sparking. There was a sound of creaking metal and also the chime of the elevator. The beacon collapsed, breaking through the glass wall of the 98th floor. The falling tower-like beacon hit the elevator shaft, trapping the car’s passengers as it was about to open.

PecMan sprang into action he grabbed the elevator car and raised it up, keeping it from falling. However, one person fell out of the car and grabbed onto the ledge where the elevator doors were stuck partially open. The person dangled there, holding on for dear life.

Gunner ran over to the person hanging on. He threw his weight into lifting the person up and into the open elevator doors.

“There ya go.” Gunner looked at who he had saved. “Mrs. Steadman?”

“Call me Marge, dear,” the bureaucrat said demurely. She struggled to get back on her feet.

PecMan quickly removed the massive media beacon from its perch leaning against the Solaris building. He also safely delivered the reporters from the elevator car and Mrs. Steadman to the ground floor. He said to Mrs. Steadman, “I need to have a quick word with my sidekick.”

Gunner reflected on the carnage of the falling tower and the other strange events in the city today. He just knew it was all related.

When PecMan returned, he had a menacing look in his eye that belied his pretty boy looks.

Gunner started in on him before he could speak. “You rushed the construction of the beacon, didn’t you?” he narrowed his gaze. “There have been accidents, accidents you knew about, and you still didn’t adjust your mistakes in the least!” Gunner glared at PecMan, and the hero glared back. Gunner turned on his heel and left, not even bothering to ask him about signing the sponsorship paperwork.

After taking the stairs to the ground level, he was walking through the lobby when he heard someone clear their throat.

“Mister Gunner Ramirez… ”

He turned to see Mrs. Steadman. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’m going to expedite your reapplication,” Mrs. Steadman said. “No more signatures are necessary. Meet me at the Licensing Bureau at 9 a.m. sharp.” She smiled at him. “That means 9:30.”

The next morning, the newsfeeds were buzzing about PecMan’s failed media beacon and the city’s special treatment of the hero. He desperately tried to blame Gunner, but no one believed that lie. “How could a disempowered hero overtake the will of the formerly fantastic PecMan?” asked several cable news commentators.

“Solaris Co. is going down, and so is PecMan,” announced the city’s district attorney in a public statement. “I’d be surprised if PecMan’s Hero License will survive another business day.” There was also an overwhelming call for an absolute separation of government and private moneys.

At 9:17 a.m., Mrs. Steadman sat at her desk at Superhero Licensing, Cancellation, and Renewal Registrar. And right there, in his still baggy supersuit, was Gunner.

“Do you have your reapplication paperwork?” asked Mrs. Steadman calmly.

“Yes, ma’am.” He handed her the incomplete paperwork, still looking like a skinny, average height superhero wannabee.

“I told you I was expediting your application.” She took out her approval stamp. “But what I didn’t tell you… ” She pursed her lips. “I’m upgrading your superhero license.”

“What do you mean?” asked Gunner.

“I mean, before your cancellation, you were a level 10 superhero.” She said, “I’m upgrading you to the previously unattained level, level 12.”

She took out her approval stamp and stamped his reapplication 12 times.

Gunner first noticed that he was gets steadily taller and that his thighs and claves were gaining muscle rapidly. He looked down at himself and gasped as the faintest of outline of abs appeared on his supersuit and watched as the abs progressed and got more defined. He also saw his chest, previously flat, now regaining muscle and prominence. “Yes!” Gunner noticed his voice was somewhat deeper.

Then Gunner felt greater strength in his arms and saw his guns gaining inch after inch of muscle, stretching the supersuit’s sleeves. He looked down again and saw his chest explode into two huge globes of power the size of cabbages and he regained voluntary control of his pecs. He touched his ass as it filled up his lower half of his supersuit and was gratified to clutch two cheeks of an absurdly shapely bubble butt. His groin also expanded to fill his lower supersuit. Along with his balls, his cock was growing, on its way to being gigantically obscene. “Oh, baby!” He noticed his voice was even deeper, a true golden bass.

Next, Gunner looked in the reflection of a nearby window. His acne had cleared up, his entire complexion now tanned and glowing. His high, sculpted cheekbones only accentuated his red, full and pouting lips. His chin had a slight dimple, and his vibrant eyes and expressive eyebrows gave him a perpetually smoldering gaze. Overall, his rugged good looks were quite possibly the greatest in the city.

In the reflection, Gunner noticed his chest. It had become off-the-hook huge, bigger than any he had ever seen, including PecMan himself. He let his pecs dance and realized he was getting a massive hardon. Looking down, he saw that his abs were so deeply chiseled that even Silver Staff’s couldn’t compare. Even Gunner’s height was on the verge of becoming a problem as his head almost touched the ceiling. Then, Gunner’s cock throbbed, its size truly preeminent. He felt his biceps burn with what he could only call superpower.

Gunner struck a pose so mighty and powerful that everyone on that floor of the Bureau burst into applause. “I am the new and improved Gorgeous Gunner.” He smiled radiantly down on his new benefactor. “I have one more thing to tell you, Mrs. Steadman.” He came in close to tell her something.

A day later, the Gorgeous Gunner flew past the Licensing Bureau. He saw a flash of dark grizzled hair and overheard a snippet of a conversation.

“It’s 3:02, sir.”

“Damn paper-pusher!” A deeply burly voice bellowed, “My Harley doesn’t need to be registered!”

“It does, sir,” came the feminine voice. “And this violation comes with a punitive abrogation of your hero license.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“Sir, you are no longer a superhero.”

A stamping sound preceded a slow growl that heightened in pitch until became a twerpish whine.

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